Not A Recap of 2009

I woke up this morning to the sound of fireworks. At 9:30 AM. At first, I thought it was probably just some blind kids shooting fireworks because well it is NYE and how would a blind person know if it was night or day or what the clock on the wall said? It's like when blind people tell you "Good Morning" at 7pm or don't instantly fall in love with me. (They can't see my amazing good looks) Anyways, but then again, how do blind kids get fireworks in the first place or even light them? Is it lit yet? Oh it burns so bad.

Regardless of their origin, the fireworks nonetheless mark the passing of time, and help me really come to terms with the fact that 2009 is truly over and 2010 is a brand new year full of new beginnings. Psyche, kill yourselves. It's still winter. Girls are still increasing in mass day by day. NYE sucks. Bitchity bitch bitch bitch.

MLG next weekend. My unhealthy love for the tiny little Koreans will finally be sated. And when I say tiny, I mean like teen wolf dick tiny, tiny like one of those little pocket pony princess toys my parents deemed inappropriate for a male child. OM, you might not be a pony but I'd shove you in my pocket any day and cherish you forever and ever until I forget about you and you drown in my washing machine. I'd even pour you little thimbles of Soju.

I still wish there was some way the Koreans could field multiple teams for these events so we could get Jaywalker back in this shit, but I'll suck it up, and that's a vague "it" that doesn't necessarily reference dicks, but whatever I'll probably still enjoy it.

Not to hate on the whole live tournament thing but really in a game without any cheating, wouldn't online leagues make more sense?

Random question - why did a ton of people gravitate away from using SmoothPing?

Merry Xmas My Loves

I hope you got sick presents. ^^

Learn Something New

Alex Wong
\ə-ˈleks-wȯŋ\
verb
New English, from Old English to sabotage
Also, AlexWonged, AlexWonging


1. In a team game, through intentional lack of action or behavior malicious to one's own team, to attempt to cause one's own team to fail. That retard pally is alexwonging the farm flag

2a. To betray. 2b. To profit from the failure of one's allies

Top 25 Tracks of 09 (imho)

There are a lot nerdy ass music bloggers so I'll preface this by saying, fuck those nerds, and also, I really don't care about "significance" or crap like that and if you do, please ky and die.

Obviously, 09 was a huge year for dubstep not only for shit like Joker, Zomby, etc. but for its continued increasing influence on everything else. The Lil Wayne/Pharrell dubstep mixes. The Wu dubstep remix album. Tons of trip hop esque breathy female vocal + dubstep beats tracks.

Without further ado:

25: Kode9 : Black Sun



24: Wiley ft Charlie Brown - The Rain



This is definitely not one of the more popular grime tracks of the year, but Bless Beats are crazy sickness here. People really like Dizzee's Bonkers more than this? Interesting.

23: Rustie : Bad Science



I picture a kiddie porn dungeon full of nintendo characters as a pervert in a white lab coat dances in his Dr Horrible goggles while gene splicing Yoshi's tongue into Zelda's mouth. EVIL EX SPEARMINT(S).

22: Dirty Projectors : Stillness Is the Move



Took me a long time to come around on this track -- I'm sure Pitchfork kids love this shit without the need to repeatedly ask themselves "Am I gay for like this?" (ye s for like this") but I'd recommend simultaneous viewing of lesbian porn to quell your initial fears. (Lesbian porn is a penis vacuum. As is ym)

21: Raekwon : House of Flying Daggers



Okay, honestly, I wanted it to be Gihad, but as much as I love the line "I'm like a crooked cop, Richard Gere / Big smirk on, getting' my cock sucked", this is probably my favorite as it includes all the best members of Wu. Ghost is fucking crazy this whole album. CRAZY. Also, for all you cats that think Blueprint or Supreme Clientele are your all-time-favorites, go listen to the original Built for Cuban Linx again and realize your life is a lie.

20: Yeah Yeah Yeahs : Zero



I really don't share the internet nerd love for the video but it's the best YYY track since Maps. (imo) Really reminds me of TV on the Radio for some reason which makes no sense...

19: MAN LIKE ME - London Town (JME & Rudekid remix)



Another amazing grime + garage mashup track that isn't terribly popular due to, well I don't know why. Seriously, TUUUNNEEEEEEEE. Yeah, I've been repping this all year on playlists...

18: Jay-z + Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind



Really? A Jay track? This is the BEST Jay track since Lucifer. I'm with the crowd on this one.

17: Deadmau5 : I Remember (Caspa Remix)



Yes, there's a shitload of dubstep on here, but I'm a sucker for post trip hop dubstep shit. Another uk radio hit I believe...

16: Doom : That's That



Where did this come from? After a long absence, Doom is back with as-per-usual disgusting covered-in-feces-and-vomit beats and production and onomatopoeia filled flows.

15: Distance - Traffic (Goth Trad Remix)



A huge choon that I've pimped before but trying to fight the dubstep this year is proving difficult bordering on impossible.

14: Mos Def - History (Feat Talib)



I think Casa Bey is probably more popular, but Talib is beast and the track is worth it if only for his brief verse.

13: Prodigy - Invaders Must Die (Liam H's Re Amped Version)



This was a big track over the past few months but I doubt it will hit anybody's top of 09 which is a little weird to me and thus I shall rectify said lack of attention. It's a grower, not a show-er I suppose.

12: Junior Boys - Hazel



Not sure why this whole album isn't more popular. Seems as strong as their previous releases. Stupid indie nerds.


11: La Roux : In For the Kill (Skream's LGR Mix)



Heard this back in April on Radio1 while in Scotland and suddenly realized that dubstep + post Lily Allen pop is fucking huge. I'm sure American mainstream will get saturated by clones, but I'm not sure I'll mind...

10: Laidback Luke Vs. Diplo - Hey! (Foamo Remix)



Okay, there were a LOT of good foamo mixes this year, and I'm obnoxious for picking the fucked up psycho house track out of all of them, but need a little love for electro house. (I kinda feel that it was probably a good year for this shit in general but nobody cares because dubstep is WAY more trendy) TBH, Bulletproof is probably my favorite Foamo mix, but I'd lose "CRED" with two la roux tracks probably.

9: Major Lazer - Keep it Goign Louder (ft NS & RB)



It's impossible to not take a track off this album in any 09 list unless your heart is a black lump of indie rock coal. Not sure if I really like this more than Pon De Floor but it's more "accessible." I just talked about accessibility, haha, /wrists.

8: Joker & Ginze - Re-Up



For my 22nd century stick up kids getting $$ the only way they know how. I LOVE YOU FUTURE SPACE OMAR EVEN IF YOU ARE QUITE HOMOSEXUAL AND I'D HIT UP PUSSY DEALERS WITH YOU ANYDAY WITH SWEET FUTURE LAZER GUNS. PEWPEW. Why does nobody else love this track btw? I don't see it on anybody's lists. Are these nerds retarded? And if so, are they still nerds? IM SO CONFUSED AND ANGRY.

7: Kid Cudi - Day 'n' Night



I know, right? Going with the Crookers mix for the link, but the original and the Jim Jones mixes are also solid.

6: Phoenix : 1901



Filthy frenchies. <3 What needs to be said really? This track is everywhere.

5: Basement Jaxx - Raindrops

Another big uk radio single that got absolutely no play here in the states. Cool bro. I had no idea that Jaxx had a new release and caught this randomly on Radio1 at the beginning of the year and initially thought it was a remix/B-side from years ago. That's a good thing. The chimes into the synth @ 1:50ish is OMGS.

4: Joy Oribson - Hyph Mngo



I'm in denial that this is the best track of the year, but somehow this tracks brings back all of the best memories of the old pieter k and ltj bukem releases without any of their descent in coffee table-ness.

3: Animal Collective : My Girls



Yes, this is an 08 track. True. Fair point. But fuck it, it was big this year and mostly unheard of last year. It's also the first AC track since Reverend Green that I couldn't take off repeat. It's on everyone's end of year lists, but I'm not too cool for school. You can find me smoking cigs in the girls bathroom. (With my girls)

2: The XX : Crystalized



Yup, I've bought into the hype for this band. "Intro" or "Islands" could just as easily makes this list, but this track is probably the standout. A vicodin saturated love song. ^^

1: Crystal Fighters : Xtatic Truth




We were born to be alone,
everybody all alone,
born alone to be alone,
we'll stand alone forever.

Dubstep + Weird Indie Folk-Rock that isn't massive fail and is instead epic? Yeah. Band name supposedly comes from an unfinished opera that Laure's grandather wrote. (Titled Crystal Fighters) I MUST SEE THEM LIVE.


Honorable Mentions That Got a Lot of Play (Like me!)

La Roux - Bulletproof (Foamo Remix)
The XX - Islands
The Strange Boys - No Way for A Slave to Behave
Gucci Mane - Round One (Salem Rmx)
Cooly G - Love Dub!
Empire of the Sun - We Are the People
Zomby - Digital Flora
MS Dynamite - Bad Gyal
jj - From Africa to Malaga
Memory Tapes - Bicycle
Japandroids - Young Hearts Spark Fire
Moderat - Seamonkey (Untold Remix)
Ill Blu w/ Princess Nyah - Frontline


Tracks I Never Got
Bat For Lashes - Daniel - Yeah I don't get it
Fever Ray - Seven - The MS remix beats sound wicked but her vocals imo don't fit at all
Any track by Girls, Wavves, Washed Out, or any other Animal Collective single this year
That Burial + Four Tet collabo pos
That Big Boi + Gucci Mane collabo
Anaconda by Untold - I KNOW ITS AN ANTHEM BUT WTF PEOPLE

Hydra Is A Cutie (But F Yiska)

Hydramist

It's sweet. ^^

No wizards got paid last weekend, too bad. Therefore, I shall continue my support of wizardry for the next MLG as well.

ps wtf is up with tongues/mn/slow vs haste affected dots lol

Question For My Enlightened Readership

How do you react to a girl telling you that "you really remind me of my brother, my hot brother"?

It's the end of year slash decade which means that everybody is doing end of year slash decade lists. Which I love slash am gay for. Fact posted their list a few days ago, which I actually really like, though I don't really share their love for dubstep and electro. (I love dubstep but am not sure those albums were really standouts of the decade for me personally) PopMatters also recently released their top 50 of this past year, singles, not albums -- I tend to prefer yearly singles lists over album lists as I really can't put albums into context in the span of a year. I don't mean that in a hipstery pretentious way, just in a I-listen-to-singles-on-interwebz-not-buy-cds way. Sup hyphens, I know you missed me. Maybe instead of a Dec playlist, I'll do some sort of favorite countdown list sort of thing, because there aren't enough self righteous bloggers trying to convince the world they have amazing taste in everything. (Hi2u Pitchfork, jk i love your festival, jk ur writers are douches)

WOAH. There's a "Monetize" button now on blogger. It lets me set up lameass ads. I wonder what kind of ads it will automatically generate for this site...Probably the same gay christian singles ones I get on my facebook. If you ever see ads on this site, please find me irl and kill me. (Except that brief stint where my website turned into a redirect for those lingerie ads, which was nothing short of awesome. Okay a tad short.)

Mickey+Donald+Goofey Wizardcleave owns. Fuck all of you.

Wizardcleave

Due to my love of all things wizardcleave, I shall sweeten the deal for you ESL thugs: $1000 if you manage to take home first running wizardcleave (NOT SPELLSLING VHELL), by which I mean you actually play wizardcleave for the majority of the event, with an added $500 prize if you do so with a mage named Hermione.

It's been brought to my attention that this blog is now "terrible" and that my writing has "degenerated into internet LOLSPEAK." Yup, both true. Let's move on.

Patch 3.3 calls out to me to come back and duel incessantly as some awful fire spec which could be fun as I haven't played mage really at all since season five and it's still my hope that Cataclysm will provide for me what WotLK never did. (fun?) My work schedule precludes me from raiding or arenaing on US realms (as much as 30-35hr weeks possibly can) so I'll probably be back to being a filthy Euro with awful ping next season either playing lock or rogue. (Sup Kach, carry me to glad again plz!) My interest lock is largely forward looking as the looming Cataclysm changes to the class hopefully will make lock a bit more proactive and less reactive, which has been generally why I can never stand playing the class for more than a week or two on TR.

Regardless of what exactly I end up playing/doing next season, I shall be more around than I have for the past few months. ^^

I can't promise to cut down on the CAPS IS AWESOMENESS of this blog because honestly even CAPS isn't enough to get across the emotion those letters need to carry. They need to be bigger and three dimensional and need some sort of force feedback when you read them like one of those N64 rumblepacks that required a constant stream of batteries. This site needs to require batteries.It needs a horns section too and cabaret dancers. FUCK. I hate puny, wussy little words.

So ESL has only 6 teams so far? I don't really understand the politics of the tournament scene at all. Why would people not go if expenses are covered (when you would devote time + $ to attend other events)? Yeah it's 3.3, but um, so what?

Baby, You Know I'm Too Big To Fail

It's somewhat of a travesty that I've yet to comment on the recent SAC scandal what with me loving finance nerdotry and office place sodomy. Basically, due to an insider trading suit against SAC, a 15 billion dollar fund btw, the details of an unrelated claim against SAC have been made public -- these detail various abuses that a Mr. Tong received from his boss, a Mr. Jiang. The document speaks more eloquently of the events than I possibly could:

Accordingly, as a condition ofMr. Tong's continued employment with SAC, Mr.Jiang required him to wear subtly feminine attire in the workplace during business hours(including blouses, slacks, shorts and open-toed sandals). After-hours, Mr. Jiangdemanded that Mr. Tong wear more obviously feminine attire in the workplace(consisting of bras and panties, blouses, skirts, dresses and high-heeled sandals). Onmorethan one occasion, Mr. Jiang summoned Mr. Tong into an empty conference roomafter business hours and forced him to disrobe and model various feminine outfits as wellas put on make-up. During these humiliation sessions, Mr. Jiang would make commentsto Mr. Tong such as, "don't worry you'll get prettier with make-up"; "you look cute inthat"; and "that looks sexy on you." This forced feminine dressing occurred throughoutthe course of Mr. Tong's employment at SAC; moreover, during this entire period oftime, Mr. Jiang also insisted that Mr. Tong grow and maintain his hair long and wearmake-up such as lipstick and nail polish. Not surprisingly, several of Mr. Tong's co-workers commented on his effeminate appearance, which further exacerbated the hostilework environment he was experiencing. Moreover, during the course of their preliminarydiscussions in the summer of2005, Mr. Jiang conveyed to Mr. Tong that Mr. B. Cohenwas aware ofMr. Jiang's plan to subject Mr. Tong to his intensive "training program".Thereafter, Dr. Ari Kiev, a workplace behavioral psychologist retained by Mr. S. Cohento enhance the performance oftrader/analysts at SAC, observed Mr. Tong wearingfeminine attire in the workplace during business hours but did not say anything to him orto Mr. Jiang (as far as Mr. Tong is aware).

It escalates a little bit later on...

Read the whole story on dealbreaker, or the raw court document.

Okay, let's be real for a second. It takes two for mouth urination. You don't go home after your boss pees in your mouth and think "man today was pretty rough but things really look like they're going to improve for me soon." This whole thing seems like an office place t4m that probably at least started consensual. And the whole sticking magic markers up his ass thing? Did he replace the markers when he was done or did he throw them out? Didn't anyone ask where all the dry erase markers were going?

ESL Weekend?

In honor of wizardcleaves everywhere:

How will it end?!

The Past, What Is It?

It's the stuff that's happened before now.

Okay, so Zero 7 was playing Metro last night and I didn't go because, firstly, I didn't know of it, and secondly, because I'm not sure it's socially acceptable to go to live downtempo shows. I checked out Thievery Corp once back in the day @ ESL (18th street lounge not the video game league u dumb nerds although tbh 18th st is a fiesta of sad douches as are all lounges but I digress...) Anyways, it was gay and not in a light-fondling-just-curious sort of way. (i.e. no cockstuffing or belmont xfers)

It would be about this gay:

You are 61% Bisexual You are bisexual. For you, sex is about having fun and the sex of your partner is of no consequence to you. You probably have a little bit of a preference either way, but you don’t let that slow you down.

Which is pretty damn disappointing. I tried like 5 of these quizzes but despite my abiding love for all that is penis can't crack the 65% barrier. Isn't the symbol clever? ITS A BOY AND A GIRL SYMBOL TOGETHER. GAYS ARE SO SNEAKY CLEVER.(Doesn't the symbol imply hermaph anyways? Actually I think it's a guy sitting on a girl's face...) I hope that someone out there takes these seriously. AM I GAY? I BETTER ASK THE INTERNET. OH NO. IT DOES MEAN SOMETHING WHEN I ONLY JACK OFF TO BOYS.

PLZ TAKE ME SERIOUS

When I post this, I get ads to meet gay men. HAHAHA I LOVE INTERWEBS. I'm going to solve my problem by repeating lesbian lesbian lesbian.

This post was inspired by this old quote I saw on NerdRiot:

radikal is like brittney spears, its a popularity contest of sukkin dikk, grats ure good at giving head in a assembly line,

PS This is not quite yet rock bottom, you just wait!

Not In JHole

Because I missed my flight like a thug. So instead of failing to snowboard, I will, I have no idea, but let's forget all that and discuss the Cincinnati Bearcats. First off, to everyone from the Natty like me, I want to say, JK I'M NOT FROM NATTY FUCK U NERDS. You're dirty and ugly and nobody will ever love you. Secondly, wtf is a bearcat. I decided to call up one of my doctor buddies figuring that aside from sucking off wrinkly dudes and giving them sponge baths and shit, doctors know shit about zoology what with all the undergrad biology classes. (I dropped my bio major faster than asian guys upgrade to white girls) Anyways, this is what I learned.

"A bearcat? It's just like a, well, it's neither a bear nor a cat, but it's like both." Cool.

Fortunately, there's youtube, through which I learned that a bearcat is actually a binturong, whatever, I know. Listen to the majestic cries of this noble beast.



This post is dedicated to the World Wildlife Fund. (psyche)

Fuck this blog is so educational. I'm like that gay black guy from Star Trek telling you about books in the sky.

XMAS NERDOTRY

I CAN'T WAIT TO RL CLEAVE @ THE GYM.

NERDJOKE HO!

Apparently the double miss universe sex tape is bogus. Such is life.

I was googling "cartoon dicks" earlier this morning because well just because and holy fuckles some weird shit comes up. (WHOKNEW) Like a million images of hardcore naruto yaoi. Now I'm not a gay 12 year old, but gay ninjas? Really? Also lots of incest pics of homer and his father. Now I love dicks but if you're into gay cartoon porn, I think you can do better. I thought only Japanese people were into this shit anyways...

Anyways, I'm off to jhole to fall on my ass a million times and strike out with depressed middle age semi-busted wannabe snow bunnies. I shall return with stories of conquest or lack thereof in a few days.

XOXO

Give Thanks (Yeah 2 days late)

WHAT ARE U NERDS THANKFUL FOR

I'm thankful for dicks, for without dicks, I wouldn't be here.

Some dbags are finding utility in posting random spammer crap which is confuddling as how the fuck can that be worth anybody's time since it's not like that many people read my bullshit so if you're one of the fuckos doing said spamming please kill yourself and die.

This is the first year ever for me where I didn't do thxgiving with my family or a girlfriend's family and damnit I miss me some pie. That's not a euphemism for vagina. Or is it? No, it's definitely not. I just want some pie but it's like everybody else got their fill of family pie (still not talking about vagina) and now won't help me get any pie and it's not like I can go out alone and just be like "hey baby can i have some pie?" Pumpkin pie with some whipped cream. Nomnomnom. (creampie)

Also. I had to work on thxgiving and not only do I get fucked on stuffing myself but no TV shows this week. HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT NEW VAMPIRE DIARIES. I mean FlashForward. I don't watch Vampire Diaries or even know what Vervain is. Speaking of vampire homosexuality, wtf is up with soccer mom teen vamp lust? Why is it cool for 40 year old women to pine for a teenage vampire boy but it's not socially acceptable for me to try to pick up high school seniors? I mean, he's not even 18. I think what's his face that plays Jacob kind of tooled Pattison on this go round as I basically had a half stalk whenever Jacob was on screen and when vamp boy disrobed, he looked like a scronny lizard. Way to not work out sucbag.TEAM JACOB FOR LIFE. In seriousness, that movie was horrible and made me want to devour a souffle of my penis. Maybe with some lemon or better yet bananas and maybe powdered sugar and crystallized ginger as a garnish. Maybe a cream peak merinque. I wonder if a restaurant that just served dick could make it.

Lastly, wtf is going on with V and what happens when u try to stick it to a V. Does that shit line up? I'm pretty much in love with Supergirl. (The blonde daughter for those of you too straight to have watched Smallville -- are you lost? It must be terrifying here I know.) I never trusted that fat friend of the son. Yeah I don't know their names, sue me. THE FAT ONE YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. YOU CANT TRUST FATTIES.

PS. WTF IS UP WITH THE YEN.

PPS. I TOTALLY FORGOT TO COMMENT ON THE DOUBLE MISS UNIVERSE SEXTAPE WTF IS THE WORLD COMING TO

Another Stupid Youtube Video Post

To prove I'm still alive.



Anyone in chicago feel free to come pwn sucks @ horseshoe tonight with me. It's only my second time going sadly.

Chuck Bass Kissed A Boy

(More than once)

And kind of liked it.

Or was that just me?

This is making the rounds, even though I think it's pretty awful:

Oh My God! I Finally Found You!

You remember me right?

We were together in my flash forward. And, well, let me buy you a drink.

Google Wave

WTF IS THIS SHIT

You can edit each other's replies and shit and make them all claim to love black dicks.

Shit is fucked up:

Interesting

I went to view my blogski and there were adds for lingerie instead, which let's face it, is an improvement, but was not my intention. I'm not playing WoW currently due to RL busyness. (And not really going to be blogging for the time being) This is a healthy, positive business not a shitty dramaful business, so no worries loves.

Still, this site is like a second penis to me and I'm not taking it down. It's one thing to not use your second penis, but to cut it off?

Hopefully, in the future, I'll have the energy/time to get back into blogging, which considering my insatiable need for attention, is let's face it, quite likely. To the people who stuck with my bullshit these past years, I wish a 1000 beautiful jasian virgins upon you and I love you like Summer Roberts.

xoxo

Two Girls, One Raddy

Yup.

Vegas.

Moving on.

I caught the tail end of the tourney and Blizzcon streams early last night and was pretty psyched at the new info coming out and, well, not so very psyched by the 'professional' arena wow.

Why was HoN not running RMP the whole time? Does Hansel know that the witch is just trying to fatten him up to eat him later?

Does anyone else think that goblins are jews? I mean look at them. And bargain hunting racial?

Despite the nerdotry, I really wish I went with a few people, dressed up in ski masks with shirts that read "CLEAVE", and ambushed nerds with baseball bats. DID I WIN COSPLAY BRO?

Look friend, a night elf
Nay, that be but a costume
A fat blue human

Jay Mohr is a toolbag. I don't even know wtf a toolbag is. Tools belong in boxes. I overheard about 30 seconds of his douchery before needing to break shit and beat off angrily to Nikki Cox. I HATE YOU AND I HATE YOUR HUSBAND. CRY FOR ME.

Ozzy Osbourne. Okay, seriously, can we be serious? How are you choosing these dinosaurs? Get a shitty house DJ and Jonah Hill or some shit.

Making fun of the freakshow parade that lines up to ask questions NEVER gets old. Who saw the Howard Stern looking downie? (Sideshow Bob is also an apt description) Why people don't ask more entertaining questions is beyond me, some suggestions:

• Why can't I suck my own penis?
• My toon has needs that the slutty girl on vent can't satisfy, why isn't there a brothel in WoW?
• You all reek of desperation and failure, kill yourselves. Okay, that's not a question.

Please let me level my guild by griefing kids. PLEASE. Also, I can't wait for when my GM spends guild talent points on lowering repairs instead of cool shit.

Dorf mage = old school.

Rated WSG. Yo Overrated and Nurfed where you nerds at. How the fuck will this work? One team per guild or like a 15man roster or some shit? I think guild teams make more sense...

Lock and hunter mechanic changes sound potentially awesome. Hopefully, all class mechanics get a big rework; it's the only way I can imagine the game being fun/interesting. I think Blizz is right to rework existing shit instead of add 10 more levels and new talents, etc. I'd rather see a reduction in number of abilities/talents and for them to be more polished. I like the idea that some new abilities acquired are going to be cross-class as it makes balance much easier.

Worgen = shnikity shnikity.

Yeah, flying mounts in Azeroth are gay. Whatever happened to "If you want to carebear, play on a PvE server."

Archaeology sounds like a huge pain in the ass. Secondary professions are for huge nerds.

That's about all I can remember. No, I won't be on wotlk much, because it's awful and I'm busy with RL nonsense. I shall continue to be around if only to be a huge faggot and to spread mirth like aids.

xoxo

Augy Tonight/Tomorrow

I'll post the mp3 version of August playlist late tonight or tomorrow depending on how late The Killers run at lolla. (And this shall be edited)

Hopefully, we won't almost die to the heat today. FRIENDLY FIRES HEYO.

I Don't Have AIDS

I GOT TESTED AND I'M SAFE. HALLELUJAH.

No, I didn't get fired or get hep-C. I'm just lazy. I can't blog about Blizzard's ping pong patchday changes or who is currently #1 in 3s on Blackout because WHO CARES OMGS. I'm at the total burnout point on WoW where, even if (and its a big black if), IF, Blizz shows off new talents and abilities for the next WoW xpack at Blizzcon, I'll still probably not care.

The game needs a combat revamp. Games get old and fundamental gameplay mechanics need to evolve over time. Nobody wants to play Street Fighter II anymore. CS is a freak exception, but honestly Beta 6 and CS 1.6 are more different in some ways than Classic and WotLK WoW. (Okay maybe not)

HoN seems gay to me. I'm sorry. It's also a homiestealer.

Speaking, well not so much speaking, but typing, and well no so much recently of, but whatever, Blizzcon. I sort of might go, who knows. I do have to be in Cali that thurs anyways. (That's me trying to justify my nerdiness, go with it) I'm mostly scared of fat kids in jeans shorts. They worry me much more than the cosplayers. Oh I had a point. Is anyone actually still psyched for SC2? I played that shit 3 years ago at Blizzcon. How the fuck is it not out? I'm already almost bored of it. Minus the almost. Playable D3? Does anyone still care?

If only the competition didn't fucking devour, maybe, MAYBE, this shit could get less glacial. GUYS OMG WOWKILLER INC. JK IM AION. (OR WARHAMMER OR FURY OR EVERY OTHER POS THESE PAST FIVE YEARS) The only thing I'm reasonably psyched for is that nerd Star Wars MMO and honestly it's only cause I had a dream where this Sasha Gray looking Sith slut invited me to hit her dark side with Force. No I'm not all about the dark side. Just sometimes, the idea that's all. Guys. Come on. It's gross.

PS IF YOU GOT A CLUNKER CASH THAT SHIT IN YO

PPS DICKS

Three Youtube Posts in a Row = BAD BLOG

Yup. True.

Lack of WoW content = Abundance of RL content but don't worry it's temporary and, to dispel any illusions that I might be not a total geek, I spent like 20 minutes in a cab reading Lhivera's mage rant/compilation until I was too carsick to continue without spewing in my samosa smelling cabbie's ride. At which point, I went back to looking at pics of AnnaSophia Robb and waiting for the pedo police to come find me.

Nothing to post, except be my nerdflix friend: NERDFLIX

NERDFLIX IS FOR NERDS

THE END

I LIKE PONIES

It's Impossible You Haven't Seen This (UNLESS UR GAYLOL)

Early August

God, Guns, Guts, and Pickup Trux

Dumbledore Snogged Little Riddle?

Oh, hi. It's been a while since you we just, talked. Talked.

I apologize to all my eurolovers who are being gayed by playlist.com, but until a new playlist service launches that doesn't suck AND swallow, I'm probably stuck with it for a little while. Yes, I reuse tracks. This is my blog with my playlists and it's what I'm listening to AND if you don't like it, I heard land of eMusic is looking for readers, bro. As far as the Mania story goes, I have the next section mostly finished but it will probably be weeks before I post another set of updates -- been thinking about returning to the poker noir character for a bit as I've been back to vegas twice in the past five weeks and will probably be there again 2-3 times this summer and it's fun/interesting to write vegas especially with how the atmosphere has changed out there. They probably won't have much to do with poker...

Onto more important shit like Harry the horsefucker Potter.

Okay, Firstov, Spoilerz.

I have to admit that the hiding, non-stupefied Harry was a bit Greedo firing first, but I guess I see the logic being that Harry promised to obey Dumbledore no matter what (lolsuckit). In case you forgot about this:

After his outing, I was expecting a gay dom-sub scene with Harry, but I guess horsefucker wasn't down. Know what I wasn't down with? Sectumsempra turning into pussy e-bola bleeding. That shit looked like it could be countered by some Seasonique. I expected dismemberment and some SANGUIS PER VIAM FLUIT. That's latin for pwn btw. It's also all I remember from three years of middle school latin aside from those traumitizing one on ones in the teacher's office where I was told to carpe diem and, well, 'stop struggling'. Actually, that reminds me. Does anyone think that this whole Tom Riddle->Voldemort the evil thing might just be the product of being snogged as a kid by Dumbledore?

SNOGGED.

I thought snog = make out but this fantasy land where teens are only interested in second base kind of confuses me. If you can't be special orgasm friends (sof), wtf is the point? Oh my god I have hormones and they're telling me to...hold your hair? Actually, there was a blatant quasi BJ between Ginny and Harry that started with the old your-shoe's-untied and don't tell me I'm a perv pedo for reading that shit in cuz Davey Yates held that frame for like 5 seconds and 95% of the audience thought Harry was about to whip that shit out.

Speaking of pervy pedoness, has anyone see the Emma Watson photoshoot where she dresses up as Lolita? This is from the shoot:
There's a few others that run with the Lo theme more hardcore. She's a cutey but I hope she finds legit roles not just slutty roles to prove she's "mature." Sup Jessica Biel. Either way, her life at Columbia will probably be fucking hell and she should probably just wear a tracksuit and a Nixon mask at all times to avoid fags like me. "Yo Emma, you do your psych homework yet? I didn't get the part about summoning your Patronus. Help a nigga out, girl. WHAT? You mad? Uh oh, you might Stupefy me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Don't go cry on the stairs."

Her boyfriend looks to be very Cash Warren-ish.

Unrelated. True Blood S2 sucks and that isn't a vampire pun, it's just bad and stupid and I love Anna Paquin but I'd rather clean my peehole with pipecleaners that watch that shit anymore. I can't deal with bad summer TV and nonstop Obama communism in the news -- I'm going crazy.

I'm spent. Is Albus Dumbledore an anagram for Balled, Dumb Euros?

JAYWALKER CROSSES STREETS LIKE HE JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK

Please tell me you bads watched the kwana matches up on gomtv.

JAYWALKER CROSSES STREETS LIKE HE JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK

Please tell me you bads watched the kwana matches up on gomtv.

Because I love you like fags sweat dicks and that bunny chases trix:

Watch more videos of WoW

The King of England Is No Longer Able to Walk About Your House

July playlist omgeese omgander omgoose.

FOR YOU NERDS NOT ON IRC WATCHING KOREAN NAMED S2 WITH ME:

http://app.gomtv.com/gompack/GOMPACKSETUP.EXE <<=== DOWNLOAD

1) Install and ignore all language pack shit, you need everything but gomaudio I think
2) Load up gomplayer dealie, use the >> arrows at the bottom, scroll 4ish screens till you see The Named S2 (it's a UD)
3) Click on the vids to watch, use the blue text for LQ so sound actually works

FIESTA

I Love IRC (And Why Kach Is a NERD)

from a week or so ago:

* kach has joined #bg6
|raddy| kach
|raddy| kach u nerd
|kach| here we go
|raddy| WHY FAG DID U DISBAND
|raddy| DO U NO LONGER LOVE SUMMER ROBERTS
|kach| i was running something else
|raddy| what
|raddy| wait
|raddy| with who
|raddy| are you cheating on me
|kach| kryoh and some random stormreaver rogue
|raddy| wow
|never| are you fags Qing?
|kach| WOW yourself
|kach| WE LOST TO THAT FUCKING HORRIBLE RMP
|raddy| DUDE I KNOW HE WAS MIND SEETHING ME OUT OF CONTROL
|kach| WITH THE MIND SOOTHE PRIEST
|never| tr2 right?
|kach| how about you play rogue instead of priest next time
|never| cool mg is crashing
|raddy| MY PRIEST IS AMAZING HOW DARE U
|kach| spam MC != Amazing
* never has quit IRC (Quit: Connection reset by peer)
|kach| maybe if you start mind soothing
|raddy| SEETHING
|kach| its soothing you toolbag
|raddy| STFU EURO U DONT SPEAK ENGLISH ITS SEETHING
|raddy| SOOTHING IS MY VOICE
|raddy| LIKE ON VENT AT 3AM WHEN I TRICK U TO TAKE OFF UR CLOTHES
|kach| are you actually going to play gay aion shit
|raddy| LOL NO
|raddy| i cant get past char creation screen its too hot
|kach| i thought you were level 10 fag
|raddy| nah i have to make my slut sorc perfect
|raddy| i dont like it when she talks when she casts she sounds like a richard gere gerbil
|kach| wtf are you talking about
|raddy| HER VOICE IS DUMB AND STUPID
|kach| your char or your gf?
|raddy| my gf doesnt cast u dont make sense u dumb euro
|kach| who is summer roberts anyways
|raddy| ..
|raddy| what
|raddy| sorry
|raddy| WHAT
|kach| I see her wiki, she isn't that cute m8
* beasti has joined #bg6
|kach| Rachel Bilson
* beasti has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
|raddy| dont use that euroslang on me
|kach| let's play, make a rogue on tr2 go
|raddy| can i play combat
|kach| Definitely not
|raddy| was that u telling me i dont have permission
|raddy| or were u making a joke about my ability to play combat
|kach| just fucking get on
|kach| tr2
|kach| we'll r/m/d
|raddy| with who
|kach| kryoh
|raddy| wtf jaywalker is taken
|raddy| FUCKING KZN
|raddy| wait, can we make the the team DONT MIND SEETHE ME BRO
|kach| no, it's BREE OLSEN FAN CLUB
|raddy| who is that
|kach| it's the new team
* igneous has joined #bg6
|kach| BREE OLSEN FAN CLUB
|igneous| bree olsen is disgusting
|raddy| im confused and aroused
|raddy| wait
|raddy| ur sick u know that
|raddy| europerv
|igneous| rad get farmed for 60 points
|raddy| fuck you ur a fucking rock
|kach| asshat you're the one who had three team names that got us banned or disbanded
|raddy| thats cuz blizz doesnt appreciate creampies or veronica mars
|raddy| man u euros love american blondes
|kach| faggot
|igneous| who doesn't
|raddy| i dont get porn stars wthat would look good with clothes on
|raddy| i think u'd do better $ doing something else
|igneous| they like to fuck because they have daddy issues
|kach| they probably make a lot dude
|raddy| daddy issues wtf does that mean
|kach| more than you
|raddy| WTF
|raddy| did u just say dude
|raddy| fuck u ur not american bro
|igneous| oedipus shit you know
|kach| fuck you fatty
|igneous| i can't believe you didn't know who bree olsen is
|igneous| i thought you were a pop culture hero
|raddy| i thought they made like 200-300 a year but had to film like every month
|raddy| i knew who she was fuck u i dont like blondes with assholes i could spelunk in
|igneous| yes you do. don't lie.
|kach| I'm sure they make more than that
|raddy| i bet u'd make more stripping + you could live a normal life
|kach| Not everyone wants a normal life
|igneous| No Porn >> Stripping
|raddy| golly that was insightful lets play

You may be more gay than you think

So I'm off to Cali for the weekend for some gay sex. Actually I'm not, but I will be in SF for gay pride weekend so it should be a weekend abound with dicks. (Probably not pretty ones though)

Michael Jackson died. =(

If you're under 18, touch yourself in his honor 2nite. (2soon?)

There was some "Are you racist?" test on CNN today that told me I had a strong preference for European Americans over African Americans. It also contains this passage:

The scenarios began when the black role-player bumped the white role-player's knee when leaving the room.

In the first scenario, the white person did not comment afterwards. In the "moderate" case, the white person said, "Typical, I hate it when black people do that," after the black person left the room. In the "extreme" case, the white person remarked, "Clumsy n****r."

I think the responses are ludicrous. If some black guy copped a feel on my leg, I'd be calling him a figgernaggot not remarking on how I rather dislike the continued advances of gay black men.

Do people actually take this shit seriously? The story is called "You may be more racist than you think." WTF does that even mean. INSIDE OF YOU, BURIED DEEP, LURKING, IS A RACIST. OMG ITS IN ME. WELL FUCK YOU CNN I LIKE IT. YOU CALLING ME SEKRET RACIST, HOW ABOUT YOUR SEKRET GAY. THATS RIGHT. FUCKING MANLIKERS.

Race is a fucking joke. People need to get over themselves. I hate reblogging fucking CNN stories because it feels like I'm some faggot tweeter, but well, dicks.

For those who care, kach and I are prob xferring to Warsong (EU) and require a baller priest for 3s, find me on irc.

I'm really emo/sad that I'll miss Regionals due to fagging it up in Cali all weekend. And no, I don't have shit to say about 3.2 except welcome to tbc double healer rogue/lock.

TR IS UP?

Who wants to get ripped in duelz ^^ (this weekend?)

Baddy/Baddi/Raddi/Raddy I think are my chars across TR1/TR2

I have some amazingly gay teams I want to try out too including mandickloving comps such as:

protp/combat
protp/destro

protp/destro/disc
disc/combat/dru (nerdy combat poisonz build)
feral/disc/destro
protp/disc/feral

HOPEFULLY I WONT GET ANY ACCOUNTS PERMA'D FOR OFFENSIVE TEAM NAMES ON TR THIS TIME (17 YR LO DESTROYED DP INTERNAL)

Profession Revamp

Time to start picking flowers, nerds.

Chapter IX (Part I)

The smell of gym and leather felt oddly nostalgic despite never having really spent much time around either. I had decided a workout would keep my mind distracted from the day's events and needed something to do while the boys slept. Jet had joked that Mania wouldn't come out till night and suggested that we all relax till then. I enjoyed surprising him by demanding he let me use one of his gyms. Jess, never to be shown up athletically by me, was happy to keep me company for a workout.

The smell of leather was the old heavy bag in front of me, my hands stinging the bag with weak thuds, more effective at straining my wrists than moving the 70kg bag noticeably. I didn't care. I continued striking the bag dully, Jess watching with an amused smirk as if I had totally lost my mind. Catching the reflection of my reddened face in the mirror, I had to agree. After my hands transitioned from simply throbbing to utterly numb, I stopped, again catching my reflection, this time of the possessed scowl I wore, and couldn't help but laugh with her.

"Okay Jess, your turn."

What she lacked in scowling and crazy, she made up for in athleticism and skill, her punches driving the bag visibly with each impact. I need less athletic people in my life. Still, despite her skill, and my total lack of it, I think the bagwork gave us both the same cathartic release.

I had watched Jet train down here many times before mustering the courage to ask him to show me how to use the heavy bags. Jet explained that they taught you how to strike with follow through, that they demonstrated the feeling of striking a real opponent. He preferred a heavier bag than this one, but the bag he liked scratched up my bare hands too much. I liked this smooth, scarred leather one.

Jet showed me how to make a fist by folding first at the fingers, how to halfway lock one's wrists, how to keep my eyes forward, and how to strike the middle of the bag, always just below shoulder height. I laughed at this last instruction, "But don't you sometimes want to strike at other heights?"

He had laughed, "Not if it has this much resistance, you're strongest at that height. And you won't get injured."

Not that I was terribly interested in striking real live targets. Being able to defend myself would be nice, but no amount of training was ever going to save me from the Mania's and Crow's of the world. Or probably any of those other names from today...

Donovan Cross. Of Cross Industry. Alex's father had worked for that boy's father. Donovan had also lost his father. That night in October, while Mania slaughtered a houseful of police officers, terrorists had attacked the Cross headquarters across town. Part of me assumed Mania was involved in that, but --

Jess, huffing and out of breath, "You're back up."

I began again with renewed focus, only pausing to blow a stray lock of hair from my eyes, continuing until totally exhausted.

Why not ask Donovan what he knows?

Because he's creepy. Because even Mania seems afraid of him. Because he is one of the mentioned names.

My eyes flashed to the doorway catching a hint of movement. Jet framed the entrance in dark jeans and layers of gauze thin knits, his physique hidden but subtly still present beneath the layered folds. His hands absently fingered a large pair of headphones. He spoke, solemn in tone, but his grinning eyes betrayed him, and revealed his excitement, "Gonna head out soon."

"Jet"

"Hmn?"

"What do you think about maybe contacting that Donovan guy?"

Jet shrugged, "Whatever. The brother, right?"

Jess chimed in, "You trust that guy?"

"Not really, but he was mentioned too." That wasn't really all that I meant. "I don't know. I get the feeling he'd know something."

Jet, now struggling to untangle a cord he had fished from his pocket, distractedly replied, "Maybe we should split up. Alex can talk to this Cross guy."

"I thought Alex was going with you."

"Nah, Mania hates Lex."

So? "Yeah, doesn't she hate you too?"

Jet grinned. "Probably, but, she might listen to me. At least for a little while."

Mania had rammed a knife through Jet's hands last they met. Jet replied by sticking that knife between her ribs. I couldn't really picture the two having much of a conversation.

My tone accusatory, "You are going to try talking to her about today, right? Not just fight?"

Jet's sheepish grin and hand in his hair gave him up instantly.

"Jet!"

"Fine!" he sulked.

Jess rolled her eyes thoroughly unimpressed by my idiot boyfriend's, well, idiocy. She turned to ask me something but I was fixated on watching Jet use the long cord to tie knot after knot, securing the gigantic earphones to his head. His voice, now inapproriately loud drowned out Jess, "Allie, come with, make sure I don't fight."

"What about Alex and Jess?"

"WHAT?"

Jess scowled, I inwardly smiled, and nodded. It would be amazing if we survived this night.

Chapter VIII (Part II END)

A few minutes after the news, the professor dismissed us, though not long before the whole school had canceled all classes for the day, and the four of us made our way to Jet's in lack of a better option. My mind was a mess of nerves to the point where the thirty foot trek out the classroom may as well have been a trip to another planet.

We had scarcely made out of the door of the classroom before Jess was firing questions at the boys. I was alone in my spaced reaction to the events. Jess and the boys were angry.

"How did you know of the attacks first?" she demanded, her tone accusatory.

Jet shrugged indifference. Alex ignored her.

She steamed, "You can't go off being all mysterious about this anymore. This is affecting everyone now." We continued down the hall, her continuing to rant, Jet flickering between bored, confused, and aggravated, Alex cold and distracted. I stuck initially to being simply shaken, but curiosity took hold of me as well. She was certainly right that whatever the boys were caught up in was spreading into the wide world at a quickening pace.

I had told Jess almost everything, but not everything I knew. To be fair, most of what I knew of Jet and Alex's history was fairly recent knowledge from a single conversation with Alex.

Alex had explained to me that Jet, Mania, and he had all known each other as children. More than knew either, they were friends, close friends. Alex's father, was a researcher at Cross. Not just any research scientist, he was generally credited with discovering Stutter, and was accorded, initially, a lot of power and responsibility in hopes that Stutter could be put into application.

Of course, Stutter ended up being a catastrophic failure; a drug that had fantastic, almost supernatural effects on the body and mind, but when metabolized, broke down into toxins quickly killing any and every test subject. This I knew without Alex's aid.

Despite nearly two decades of failed efforts to transform Stutter into something applicable, Cross forged onwards with research, until Alex's father suddenly not only refused to continue the research but destroyed all of the accumulated data on Stutter. Apparently, he alone knew the trick to combining the precursors of Stutter, and his refusal to cooperate along with his destruction of most of the data on the project were potentially a multi-decade setback.

It was a week after his father's refusal that a wide-eyed ten year old Alex found himself frozen in the doorway of his parent's bedroom. Before him, and above his recently decapitated mother and father, crouched his friend, an eleven year old Mania, kitchen knife in hand, smeared in blood, fingers to toes.

Alex screamed and fled with Mania in pursuit, gaining distance as she slipped with blood-slick bare feet on the downstairs kitchen tiles, running till he could feel his heart ready to explode in his chest, eventually making it to Jet's. Mania was seconds, not minutes, behind and before he could explain much of anything to Jet, she arrived, panting and furious.

Alex didn't give me much to work with concerning what happened next. I'll do my best to recall it as he did to me.

Jet and Mania trained together religiously, both fascinated by combat. Jet's excuse was being the prodigy in a long line of competitive fighters and martial artists. For Mania, it was apparently different. She was naturally gifted without much training. Strong. Quick. For her, it was more about expressing that which lay otherwise dormant and unused. As children, compared to Jet, she was always stronger, faster, but she lacked his stamina and technique, and was typically the loser whenever the two sparred.

Not on that day.

The two fought with Jet becoming horrifically cut and slashed almost immediately. Alex had managed to break off and alert the police with his phone only to return as one of his best friends was in the motion of slitting the throat of his other. He screamed her name, her real name, Charisma, and she spun to look at the boy with whom she used to laugh and play, and now wanted to kill.

Her once cute face now bore a sick grin, porcelain white teeth in full display between thin ruby lips drawn languidly back. She claimed that she was not Charisma and that her name was Bia. She didn't respond when asked why she was hurting them, why she killed his parents, but she did let Jet out from trapped underneath her. She sat frozen, covered in fresh blood, some hers, most of it Jet's, for only a few moments before three police officers tore through the front door, shouts flooding Jet's demolished living room.

Their threats and shouts to disarm unfortunately did the officers little good. Mania, Bia, stood facing the men, slick with red, knife gripped firm in hand. Tires screeched outside in the driveway. The first shot tore through Mania's left shoulder sending the young girl to the floor screaming. The officers inched closer, encircling the wounded girl. A mistake.

She was up in a flicker, the knife claiming the weapon arm of the officer who fired, before finding the throats of the other two. Three bodies hit the carpet floor with a soft thud, two coughing garbled wheezes, one screeching in agony.

Despite his injuries, Jet was quick to spring into action as well, prying the gun from the amputated arm and spinning to fire at young Mania as she turned away from the three men. Four shots rang out, all four missing their mark. Behind Mania, framed in the doorway, and now silently slumping towards the same carpeted floor were Jet's panic-stricken mother and father.

Mania kicked the weapon away from the horrified Jet, and bent down to restrain him from rushing to the side of his wounded, dying parents. Sirens blazed in the distance, each second drawing nearer. She spoke tranquilly, her fury gone, transformed back into the girl they knew, "I'll be leaving for a long time. I'll miss you."

"And what exactly is the point of that," Jess harped. I had absolutely no idea what they were arguing about. I could have sworn Jet mentioned something about a nap.

Jet yawned as he spoke, "Need rest if we're going looking for Mania."

"Why? Even if she didn't do it, why would she help? This sort of thing sounds like something she'd probably enjoy."

Jet grinned at Jess, "Because she's being called out."

Chapter VIII (Part I)

The blackboard flickered.

"There will also be a review session next Thursday to go over the practice midterm. I strongly recommend you go through it by then."

The professor went on, but my interest was long gone. My heavy eyes glared at the mechanical wall clock, a clunky last-century piece obviously out of place in the white, modern lecture hall.

Two minutes.

After this, I was off to International Relations, which thankfully would reunite me with my friends. And Jet.

Calculus was the one class where I was totally alone. Despite it being a core course for most freshman, Jess, Lex, and even Jet had tested out of it. Those of us stuck taking the class were rewarded with the world's most soporific professor, and although many others have probably made the same claim, I was, at this moment, positive of my correctness.

90 seconds.

My resentment at being stuck in the class engendered a fierce determination to excel despite my abhorring all aspects of Calculus. Right now, however, my A in the course proved to be little consolation. I could stand to trade a little achievement for a bit of enjoyment. My friends would definitely blow off a class like this. I don't think Jess cracked fifty percent attendance in any of her classes. Alex and Jet were much the same. Skipping a class with them was one thing, but I wasn't yet to the point where I was blowing off classes without their bad influence.

45 seconds. Please hell, open up, and swallow me.

I thumbed the exam study notes, perusing them absentmindedly, not really taking in anything on the pages. Attached at the end was the practice mid term. Polar coordinates problems. My eyes flickered across the pages without comprehension.

What was the point of all this?

I had recently watched a crazy girl butcher a roomful of people and the only people with either the interest or capability of doing a thing about it were my boyfriend and his best friend, and also, the girl's brother, a boy who gave me the same creepy sadist vibes as his sister. And somehow still worse was that this was all connected potentially to the nightmare of a man that was Vincent Crow, who despite being dead, and me having watched his death, continued to haunt me with increasing frequency these days.

Oh, and I've been singing a pretty annoying Clash song to my roommate every night, constantly disappointed that my singing doesn't trigger in her some sort of supernatural temporary blindness.

"... and we'll pick up on Monday. Enjoy your weekends, but not too much, and don't forget the TA session on Saturday."

My peers and I groggily stumbled out of our seats transforming from Lethargians back into boys and girls. I shook my head as if to shake out the sleepiness. It seemed to work and I found myself quickly across campus and seated in IR, excited to reunite with my friends.

Jess waved as she entered, her face fixed in a bored scowl as she plopped down first her books and bag, and then herself next to me.

Pointing to the thick pile of textbooks between us now busy scattering the empty floor into tiny pockets of exposed carpet, she whined, "Remind me why we still use these?"

I chirped, "Tradition," and she surrendered her bitterness without much of a fight. She offered me a small smile, before giving the distant doorway a not-so furtive longing glance.

"You're kind of flush, Jess."

She turned two shades redder. Her hair was still damp from a recent shower. She must had gone running without me.

She sighed, "Yeah, you missed another run." Damn.

"I had class." Did I care? No. Would I still guilt Jess? Yes.

"I know, sorry. I wanted to do a fast run today."

I mocked indignation, "Woah, are you insinuating that I slow you down?"

She grinned. "Minus the insinuating and pretty much just flat-out without any subtlety whatsoever telling. To your face."

The professor dove right into his lecture. "We left off discussing the European Union's recently passed Prosperity Act. In last night's reading, the Clover piece argued such legislation would inevitably proliferate relatively more lower income births. Just as --"

Where were Jet and Alex? It was like them to be late, but not this late. The seats the pair typically occupied had been claimed by two overachiever girls whispering heatedly to one another, arguing about the day's lecture. After four years of bickering, the Prosperity Act, a redefinition of the age of adulthood in Europe to sixteen, along with a ton of educational reforms to leave graduating high school seniors two years younger, finally passed. Despite the population drought being less severe relatively in Europe than Africa or Asia, the anxiety seemed highest in Europe. Anyways, the general idea was to get women out of school at an earlier age and thus have more "adult" years for potential childbearing. Politics really aren't my thing.

Finally!

Alex first, with Jet lagging a few steps behind, stumbled sleepily into class, the heavy classroom door slamming like a thunderclap behind them. Heads turned and the professor paused, I winced in embarrassment on Jet's behalf, but the status quo quickly resumed as the two groggily found seats. Sadly, seats not close to me. They looked dead exhausted.

Jess also noticed, "Your idiot boyfriend has finally sleptwalk his way here."

"Yeah, I wonder what's up." I paused, shrugged, and continued with, "Well, Alex also looks about as dead tired as my idiot boyfriend."

Jess laughed. "After another half hour on this Prosperity Act nonsense, I'll look the same. Just you wait."

"Getting political on me?"

"Just ready for a new topic."

Jess was right. I used to love this class, but we'd spent the whole week debating the potential downstream economic effects of the Act. Truthfully, it didn't seem like any of the "experts" had a clue what the long term effects would be. Not that I was terribly cynical about it, but ever since the night where I first was introduced to Mania, it felt like there was a lot to the world that we didn't cover in our university classes.

It was more than that though. I had said to Alex that it felt like the world was changing. Sterility around the globe, the hype and disappointment surrounding Stutter, patterns that could sicken you, songs that could blind you, monsters like Crow and Mania -- why did we go along with --

"Allie," Jess nudged me impatiently. "You're spacing."

I growled back stupidly, "Shut up, you're spacing."

Ignoring my reply completely, "When did you get back in yesterday? I thought it was early."

"Yeah, like midnight."

I assumed she was trying to puzzle out the boys' exhaustion, but I was certainly not the culprit. I looked over at the two. Alex stared at the professor vacantly, head propped up on his arm, eyes glazed. Jet slept upon folded arms across his desk. I couldn't see actual drool from across the room.

"Allie, you look furious."

Much more loudly than appropriate for a quiet lecture hall and mustering more repressed ire than I intended, "Why even come if he's going to sleep?!"

Jess giggled before giving me a quick, the professor is watching us be idiots, glance that transformed me back into studious good girl.

After a few minutes of pretending to listen to the lecture, my gaze flickered back to Alex just in time to witness his exhaustion replaced with shock and panic. He spun around in his seat to shake Jet, completely oblivious, or indifferent, to the scene he was starting to create.

Alex's phone lay open on his desk. Something he saw. Some news? The displays built into the desks were generally much better for web surfing -- I saw no news scrolling by.

Alex yanked on the arms supporting Jet's head sending skull to desk with a hollow thud. Jet barked curses at Alex but before he could get more than few choice words out, he was silenced by whatever he saw on Alex's screen. Something was very wrong.

The boys' faces were gray. Jess spun to me, but I shrugged cluelessness before she could ask.

Alex stood up and the gravity of his face silenced first the room and then the professor, "I'm sorry to interrupt sir. Something terrible has happened."

Our professor, along with all 140 students in the room, turned to Alex with rapt attention. Seconds passed with Alex's expression keeping the room in absolute silence. Jet stood and fidgeted. He was anxious to get out. To do something. What had happened?

Alex opened his mouth to explain, but it proved unnecessary. Alert messages flooded our tabletops. The blackboard faded, the scribblings of our professor replaced by a television news feed. The professor backed away from the board, stunned, equally as in shock as us by what he saw.

A cute, female anchor spoke, voice uneven as she narrated, her words, sadly imparting no additional understanding of the scene behind her.

Times Square, Broadway and Seventh.

Beneath the cobweb of billboards and monitors and beneath the towering retail sanctuaries, bodies littered the intersection, mangled and dismantled, recognizable as human more by what was once their clothing than what remained of their human flesh, their bodies splattered like bugs ground into the pavement. Young and old, ground to a thick uneven paste, smeared against the black asphalt.

I tried to listen to the anchor's words, "Our associates are confirming that this same carnage has been witnessed in seven other cities around the world. Tokyo, Tel Aviv, Rome, Edinburgh, Aix en Provence, Lima, and Victoria have all reported similar incidents. At this juncture, it's too early to say with authority that this list is exhaustive, but --"

I tuned out sensing the change in the air, the subdued heat and scent of Jet's proximity. I looked up at him, but couldn't really read his expression. Did the anchor really use the word 'carnage'?

I looked down to avoid the scene on the blackboard only to realize the same video flooded my desk's display. I started to feel sick. I was vaguely aware of gasps and exclamations around the room, but before worrying about them or my own stupid weak stomach, my hand stretched out to find Jess's as she turned to me.

Jess and I stared, transfixed, as the anchor continued, "... estimates are on the order of a few hundred at each site. At this time, it's believed --"

I felt Jet's hot breath on my ear, but it was Alex who spoke first, "We should get out of here."

Jess looked at me, shaking her head no. I had to agree with her. Where would we even go?

"-- all recording devices and remote imaging of the sites seems to have been somehow disabled. No group has, as of yet, claimed responsibility for the attacks, nor do we have--"

Jess, her face suddenly exasperated, frustrated by something in the report, tabbed over to a broadcast covering the massacre at Tel Aviv. The area looked like an upscale shopping district, maybe a park, a place called Kikar Hamedina. She panned out the display as much as she could and suddenly I saw what she saw.

The bodies were not littered about the park randomly -- they were arranged to spell a word. CROSS.

Alex and Jet's fascination mirrored our own own. They didn't need to ask. Jess was already tabbed to Tokyo, the incident at Shibuya Crossing, looking to see if she could get an aerial view.

SATSUMA.

The word, the name, meant nothing to any of us. We sat silently as Jess repeated looking for overhead shots of the other cities. After Tel Aviv's CROSS and Tokyo's SATSUMA, there was a large double question mark, ??, etched in blood and bodies in Edinburgh's Princes Square. In Rome, CIRCE. In Victoria, DEAD. Aix en Provence, FELL.

My body stiffened automatically as the shape in Victoria grew clear. CROW.

In Lima's Plaza de Armas, carved with bodies into the stone and earth, MANIA.

Jess' eyes and my own lit up on the mention of Mania, I turned to Jet, "Did she?"

Alex and Jet answered with a simultaneous no. Jet continued, "She's here in Chicago. We saw her last night."

June!1!!

omgjunebro

<3 xoxo raddy

Keydown Binds

Next big thing?

TRYING ON ROGUE RIGHT NOW

ps if you know what this means, xfer to bdf and carry my priest in 3s

Unmercy Mount-Trinket Trick

Featured in his latest vid -- I've seen this done with Blink in a similar fashion. (Spam blink during frostbolt casts anticipating intercept)

Basically, you just spam pvp trinket during mount cast when you're about to get opened on with cs.

Obviously, you run the risk of being horribly embarrassed if you do this stupidly, but it does allow for shit like blinding, fearing, HoJing, etc before the rogue can use his first global.

This isn't AMAZING but is pretty cool and probably has some good applications for clever use.

ie you macro trinket-fear trinket-blind etc u dumb nerds

ps why have i never seen this picture

MLG Weekend Wrap

While not as exciting without the Koreans, this was definitely one of the best WoW tourneys to date, if only for the ever increasing amount of drama each event seems to generate.

OMG EU vs US.
OMG Cheesecomp vs RMP skillz.
OMG Hafu!!1!

Get $ Get Payce ftw.

I don't really have much love or hate for the cleave damage zerg. I think it's pretty dumb that every time RoV came up, we bet how many seconds the opposition's priest would survive -- usually under 20 seconds. It's frustrating that some comps are much more forgiving, but that's part of the game and has always been true. Either way, I'd rather not be watching double healer rogue vs double healer hunter. (Which honestly, despite all the damage in wotlk, seems inevitable if druids stay as they are)

It's not like RMP requires amazing finesse to secure wins. Three Ice Lances into a DF and CB Evisc-Muti-Muti is potentially 20k+ dmg in 3 globals. Even a CB-Evisc-Muti alone can be close to 10k inside a single global. (You can however avoid/counter the damage of a mage or rogue and you really can't do anything about BM hunters or LB'd DKs)

While a lot of people are going to look at this MLG event as a huge indicator for class balance, you have to remember that these players are a very small sample of the competitive arena landscape. While everyone likes to suck each other off and talk about how all the best players are at these events, and the players are generally awesome, there's a LOT of strong players who tear up online play who don't participate in the LANs. I've generally sided with Ming when it comes to looking at the SK 100 list to really get a feel for current balance/represetantion; I think it is a more accurate picture.

RMP and RLD should probably always be strong arena teams if only for all the different DR sets.

I don't think 3v3 balance is achieved necessarily when every class has the same percentage representation amongst top/winning teams. Maybe that's a long term goal, but as long as every class has 2-3 viable/strong matrices, I don't really see the problem.

I think shamans are a few small buffs away from making the comps they fit into top level. Mana Tide is quite garbage, but a lame change such as just giving the totem 10k hp would probably put shaman mana in line with the other healers. Personally, I think the WotLK shaman, from a playstyle perspective, is super boring. (HEROISM LHW SPAM. DID WE WIN? FUCK IM OOM BRO) I was psyched in beta for Spirit Link + LoS Chain Heals but Blizz decided that turning shaman into a druid/pally hybrid was a better idea.

Anyways, the best shit of the weekend:

1. Venruki Ice Blocking at 7 hp, catching a heal, dropping IB and scoring counterkill on Enforcer. (LIKE A BAWS)
   
2. Venruki hovering at 5k HP for a LONG couple of seconds against eMG, looking like he's about to block, and then dying for no reason. <3
3. Pookz counterspelling Minti randomly, and after winning the round anyways, responds to a comment on the counterspell with, "Who won that last round?"
4. Bucwild being a beast.
5. Payce dying without bubbling...over and over.
6. Not Fnatic, EG, or Gravitas. (Pandemic was very good if inconsistent despite the lowish finish)
7. Yog's thumb. ITS A CATERPILLAR.
8. Whoever called that fat chick, Snorlax.
9. Glick's emo commentating. "And Pookz counterspells the hunter, that's not good." "Oh look the wolf's big" "They're getting cleavy"
   
10. Payce's real name is, in fact, $.
11. Not Minti playing shadow dance. (Sorry, <3)
12. Realz's HUGE clutch divine hymns. (Seriously, he is master of random bullshit hymns)
13. Pennace juke into divine hymn what.
14. Didy leaving a game right as his team gets a crosskill for no reason costing them the match. (And then Vhell commenting on it, without realizing mic was on, "I'd punch Didy in the face")
15. Now look at me. Nice.
16. Enforcer. Popped collar? Check. Crazy sideways typing? Yup. Best rogue play all tourney? Yup.
17. Pookz wtfburst. Man pookz is really getting outplayed this round, he has don't shi--- oh he just shattered some rogue's face.
18. Azael gunner glasses.
19. Hydra on the offensive.
20. Not Hydra on the defensive.
21. "Hafu strat"
22. Vhell reading the official definition of cleave on air.
    
23. Realz.
24. Payce's play in the first few round robin matches. (Particularly against Complexity)
25. JP live blogging.