Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Past, What Is It?

It's the stuff that's happened before now.

Okay, so Zero 7 was playing Metro last night and I didn't go because, firstly, I didn't know of it, and secondly, because I'm not sure it's socially acceptable to go to live downtempo shows. I checked out Thievery Corp once back in the day @ ESL (18th street lounge not the video game league u dumb nerds although tbh 18th st is a fiesta of sad douches as are all lounges but I digress...) Anyways, it was gay and not in a light-fondling-just-curious sort of way. (i.e. no cockstuffing or belmont xfers)

It would be about this gay:

You are 61% Bisexual





You are bisexual. For you, sex is about having fun and the sex of your partner is of no consequence to you. You probably have a little bit of a preference either way, but you don’t let that slow you down.




Which is pretty damn disappointing. I tried like 5 of these quizzes but despite my abiding love for all that is penis can't crack the 65% barrier. Isn't the symbol clever? ITS A BOY AND A GIRL SYMBOL TOGETHER. GAYS ARE SO SNEAKY CLEVER.(Doesn't the symbol imply hermaph anyways? Actually I think it's a guy sitting on a girl's face...) I hope that someone out there takes these seriously. AM I GAY? I BETTER ASK THE INTERNET. OH NO. IT DOES MEAN SOMETHING WHEN I ONLY JACK OFF TO BOYS.

PLZ TAKE ME SERIOUS

When I post this, I get ads to meet gay men. HAHAHA I LOVE INTERWEBS. I'm going to solve my problem by repeating lesbian lesbian lesbian.

This post was inspired by this old quote I saw on NerdRiot:

radikal is like brittney spears, its a popularity contest of sukkin dikk, grats ure good at giving head in a assembly line,


PS This is not quite yet rock bottom, you just wait!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Not In JHole

Because I missed my flight like a thug. So instead of failing to snowboard, I will, I have no idea, but let's forget all that and discuss the Cincinnati Bearcats. First off, to everyone from the Natty like me, I want to say, JK I'M NOT FROM NATTY FUCK U NERDS. You're dirty and ugly and nobody will ever love you. Secondly, wtf is a bearcat. I decided to call up one of my doctor buddies figuring that aside from sucking off wrinkly dudes and giving them sponge baths and shit, doctors know shit about zoology what with all the undergrad biology classes. (I dropped my bio major faster than asian guys upgrade to white girls) Anyways, this is what I learned.

"A bearcat? It's just like a, well, it's neither a bear nor a cat, but it's like both." Cool.

Fortunately, there's youtube, through which I learned that a bearcat is actually a binturong, whatever, I know. Listen to the majestic cries of this noble beast.



This post is dedicated to the World Wildlife Fund. (psyche)

Fuck this blog is so educational. I'm like that gay black guy from Star Trek telling you about books in the sky.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

XMAS NERDOTRY

I CAN'T WAIT TO RL CLEAVE @ THE GYM.




NERDJOKE HO!

Apparently the double miss universe sex tape is bogus. Such is life.

I was googling "cartoon dicks" earlier this morning because well just because and holy fuckles some weird shit comes up. (WHOKNEW) Like a million images of hardcore naruto yaoi. Now I'm not a gay 12 year old, but gay ninjas? Really? Also lots of incest pics of homer and his father. Now I love dicks but if you're into gay cartoon porn, I think you can do better. I thought only Japanese people were into this shit anyways...

Anyways, I'm off to jhole to fall on my ass a million times and strike out with depressed middle age semi-busted wannabe snow bunnies. I shall return with stories of conquest or lack thereof in a few days.

XOXO