Friday, June 20, 2008

Chicago (VI)

You and cliche dealer walk. He talks. You mostly walk. The two of you pause about a half block down the street from Manor. Manor is one of Chicago's few legit hotspots.

It's Chicago's Tenjune -- not that Tenjune is still cool, but you get the point. It's an institution here. Your local friends crash the spot regularly for bottle service and it's somewhat justified. The girls are generally young, obnoxious, and arrogant -- but cute. Almost worth the drama.


Tonight, there's something going on at the club. Packed outside the entrance are a crowd of Koreans in all black formalwear. Must be twenty to thirty Asians standing around, looking awkwardly overdressed. Oh wait, that's just a normal night at Manor.


The Asian phase is part of the natural life cycle of any spot. First, a place is legitimately underground. Unknown. Cool. Then, the scenesters learn about it. The place is still certifiably cool during the scenester phase, but obnoxiously hard to get into, and generally pretentious as fuck. The Asian phase is the third phase and is generally pretty mellow. Very status quo. The scenesters coexist with the Asians, and both parties are content to enjoy the spot, but both know the end is near. Then comes the finance-douchebag phase. Bankers, corporate lawyers, traders, VCs, fuck it, anyone remotely in the industry. The club loves them because they drop money on bottles like nobody else. But well, they're douchebags. Everyone else is not so much with the loving of these tools. The Asian peel out as soon as the finance guys show up, but the scenesters stick around -- just not the cute ones.


After the finance douchebag phase? Death. It's sometimes quite prolonged, but it's equally quite inevitable. A critical mass of non-cuteness and general doucheness spark a gradual and then sudden exodus to a new venue.


Your new friend has become less chatty and more pushy. "So what are we doing?"


You look him over again. You aren't on some deserted corner. You're in the middle of downtown nightlife. Crowded street. Well lit. Cars driving by constantly. Impossible to know who's watching you. Having spent years living in B-more, it ain't exactly new territory to be buying in broad daylight, but the yo-kids are a good deal more subtle. This guy is blatantly working the sell in front of bystanders with no apprehension whatsoever. Fishy.


You've long been paranoid of running into an undercover in a situation like this, but it always felt like something that belonged more in movies or on television than in real life. Doesn't stop you from following the caution that anyone not retarded follows. Never name anything explicit. Never name a quantity. Keep prices vague.

Your dealer continues to impress, "60 a gram. 200 for an eighth."

He's either a cop or retarded. Or both.

Mage and Warlock Armors Undispellable

As posted by Head Mistress of all mages, Affix:

yall like i wuz on ptr stfu n listen u dumb badz u shuld hear this okay u lik cant get rid of dem magic armor bufz now dey r not magikz nomore.

Pretty sick. ^^

Thursday, June 19, 2008

For All You Snakes Out There

In WotLK:

/hiss
%s hisses at %s.
%s hisses at you.
You hiss at %s.
%s hisses at everyone around him.
You hiss at everyone around you.
%s hisses at everyone around her

There's also, /fail

%s thinks %s has failed.
%s thinks you have failed.
You think %s has failed.
%s has failed.
You have failed.

And this...

/squeal
%s squeals at %s.
%s squeals at you.
You squeal at %s.
%s squeals like a pig.
You squeal like a pig.

Sick RPs inc.

New Chicago Noir tomorrow night.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Dicks Bro

I retagged every Noir post as Noir for ease of finding. It took me like twenty whole minutes so you better be grateful. (Plz put out kthx)

I normally don't do managerial type stuff for this site because I assume that everyone who reads this site has probably been here from the beginning. (Why would you read this bullshit if we didn't have history? If you leave me, you're a quitter. You're not a quitter, are you?)

If you've never read the Noir posts and are looking to randomly see if you'd like them, I'd start with the second entry, More Poker Noir. The Poker Noir series is still unfinished partially due to laziness and partly because I haven't been able to write the next section the way I want. (I lack the maturity lol)

On the WoW side of things:

I've been playing rogue for three days now on TR. I look exactly like Minti, i.e. dead sexy. Rogues are pretty sweet. ^^

I HAVE HAD FEL DOM USED AGAINST ME ONLY ONE TIME IN ARENA SO FAR AND I KICKED IT. ONE FOR ONE. FLAWLESS KICKING.

I'm thinking about stopping with my flawless record on fel dom kicks as it seems only downhill from here.

I'll hold off on a more serious discussion on my plans in WoW till I'm less delusionally tired. MLG GO. Does anyone else think that a team that could run war/rogue/dru and swap the rogue for a mage could do pretty well? War/mage/dru is probably the best cleave counter and war/rogue/dru should cleave your way to victory against most everything else. RMP is a huge weakpoint I suppose. (Really huge!)

Monday, June 16, 2008

Chicago (V)

You arrive at McDonalds a few minutes later not knowing what to think. Strange how this girl has been dumping her emotional baggage on you, a guy she really, really doesn't know. You don't really care about her problems. Yeah, she's got some. But they aren't yours.

Still, she's young. And cute. And generally cool. Too scenester though. She's a city girl at least. The worst are the faux-scenester suburbanite girls. At least Ava, Dragon Girl, lives in the West Loop and isn't some random from Glennview or Arlington Heights.

Truth is city dwellers don't even hit most the "cool", if such a word is really applicable in the Midwest, places on weekends. The weeknight crowd is local. Tuesdays. Thursdays. The weekends are another story. Tools who are going to the city 'to hit the club.' Not that you have any idea on how you close on a girl when you tell her that your place is 45 minutes by train away. Guess their solution is never fucking closing.

Back to Ava. She's a few steps ahead of you approaching the doors. The bright indoor lighting pours out striking her red silhouette against the dark night. Glowing. Fuck you with that sarcastic Kodak moment bullshit. It's striking. For real. And somewhat ridiculous. She was extremely overdressed for the club. Her going into McDonalds is like a wedding dress at a boxing match. Doesn't figure.

Her phone rings. She's carried it in her hand all night. Obviously, has nowhere else to put it. Oddly, you do the same. But it's more nervous habit than anything else. She answers.

She turns away from the illuminated entrance. It's obviously not a good phone call.

"I'm really sorry."

You just look at her.

"I have to go -- my friend was just in an accident. I'm so sorry." She's genuine. You think.

You play chivalrous. Who the fuck are you really kidding? "Can I help? Where do you need to go?"

She declines but asks for your phone. She dials her own number. It takes her awkwardly long to do.

Nobody gives out numbers anymore. It's all self dialing. You miss when a girl would give you a piece of paper or write her number on your hand. You've had girls recently give you business cards even. Not those types of girls.

It literally takes more than thirty seconds for her to figure out how to enter her number. You watch her silently unable to think of anything to say. You go with, "Well we made it here. Next time we'll make it inside."

It was supposed to be silly, but it came off sounding pretty asshole. She laughs it off and says a rushed goodbye before disappearing off leaving you holding your phone with her number dialed staring at the McDonalds entrance.

After staring blankly at the entrance and cursing your karma, you begin the walk back to the club. You aren't exactly ready to face your friends and the bullshit that is Martini Park yet, however. You decide to walk off the recent events and take a scenic route back to the club.

As you're walking, out of nowhere, "Yo, looking for some nose candy?"

Who the fuck says 'nose candy'? Seriously, what the fuck. Whatever happened to asking, "Hey, do you ski?"

This dealer is a walking cliche. Camo Yankees cap. Hideous Bape Camo hoodie. Baggy jeans. Air Force Ones. Short. Black. Grungy. Looks high off the supply. Eyes are totally glassed.

You ignore him and keep walking.

Except that you don't. You walk up to him. "What's good?"

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Chicago Noir (IV)

Going outside is always a shock of sorts in Chicago. Normally, it's the cold. Nine months of the year this piece of shit is unlivable. Tonight is fine though. Tonight, the shock is the quiet. The volume differential is always startling even in the cold months, but, normally, you just don't give a fuck's notice due to the goddamn cold.

You look across and down LaSalle. Rock and Roll McDonalds. You've lived here for over two years and have still never been. Not that you're one to eat fast food. Still, it's a landmark. Of sorts. Across from the Mickey D's is that Sports Authority that you always walk by, but have never seen actually open.

Even with the nice weather, the smoking crowd is thin. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. Most of them are quite far from thin. Isn't smoking supposed to keep the weight off? A few large girls are engaged in a conversation with the bouncer at the side door. God only knows about what. Or cares.

You check the back of your hand. You were stamped on the way out. Obviously, there isn't the trust to let people in who claim they've already paid cover. It feels...juvenile. Then again, everything about this world is.

Alpha is perched against a railing twenty feet down the street. His girl from inside, Dragon Girl, is with him. So are two new girls and some random guy. They're having a good time. Loud. Laughing. The body language of both the two new girls express pretty significant interest in your friend. One's got her hand on his arm while she laughs. The other is leaned against the railing next to him awkwardly crossing her hands. They're cute. Both Asian. One quite tall. Five ten maybe. Dragon Girl's height. Every one's smoking. Unfiltereds...

Alpha spots you. Sees the look you're giving him. The what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-idiot look. He grins.

He's got it pretty good.

The crowd turns to you as he flags you down. No choice.

Introductions. You accept a cigarette.

It's clean. Just tobacco.

Alpha beams, "Come on now."

You roll your eyes.

Dragon Girl shoves you lightly, "It's been a while. How ya been?"

"Ya know."

"I know?"

"Yeah, you know."

"Busy?"

Alpha's meanwhile diverted the rest of the crowd with a story about him narrowly escaping a fist fight with locals last time he was in Dubai. Leaving out the part where your girlfriend at the time was with him. Asshole. You and Dragon Girl break off a bit from the crowd.

"Hardly." You grin. "Slacking. My friends are here. See, I told you I have friends."

She's playful. "And to think I doubted it. Still, you were sort of loner last time. Besides, I see only one friend."

"Yeah, but there's more. Lots of 'em." You're not really sure where this is going. She came outside with your friend, but, well, she's talking to you.

There's a bit of a silence. You fill it. "Actually, the same guys who gayed me last time and peaced out leaving me stuck with you."

The shorter of the girls and the guy have left Alpha to return inside. Alpha and the taller girl head over towards you. Jessica was the tall one's name. Dragon Girl is still Ava, which you did remember from before, but, she's Dragon Girl tonight.

Alpha does his thing, "We're going to go back inside and be social."

Jessica, to Ava, "Come find me in a bit, okay?"

They vanish off leaving you and Dragon Girl smoking in silence. You point down the road to the McDonalds. "I've never been."

She's a bit spaced out. "Hmn?"

You continue with it. "To the Rock and Roll McDonalds. Two year and I've never been."

"Yeah, same." She says it with strange regret. Perhaps, it's forced. Doesn't matter.

"Want to?"

"Want to go there? To McDonalds? Like now?" You nod. "Now?" You nod. "Fuck it, okay." You're in love. She flicks her cigarette to the street. You do the same. Somewhere Al Gore is crying.

It's one of those moments where you need to close more distance. You should grab her hand and drag her along. Do something to break that touch barrier. You laugh to yourself, kino.

It's too forced though, too soon. You're not the type to be grabby. Fuck those guys. You start walking and she walks along side you. The space between you is charged. You swallow hard. This isn't the time to be shy and noble. You're a douchebag. Never forget it.

After what feels like forever but is no more than 10 steps, you fire, "Well. Talk."

She laughs. "Yeah, okay."

"I'm serious. Watcha been up to? Doing any more shows or anything in Chicago?"

She laughs. "I told you that was my second show. It's still my second show."

"Slacker."

She laughs. She does that a lot. Laugh. It's what girls do. They laugh to put guys at ease. They fuck the ones that cause a few of them to be real. And marry the one who keeps the majority genuine.

You decide to be a bit more sympathetic and serious. "So what have you been doing instead?"

The two of you keep walking.

She spoke. You listened. You listened. She spoke.

MLG Weekend Thoughts

Wow. Intense as shit. By far, the most fun live WoW event. All of the best US players, some sweet Euros with hot accents, and commentators who actually know the game. The time between matches leaving something to be desired still, but shooting the shit on vent/irc between rounds and the corresponding trashtalk kept shit from getting too boring.

Commentating:

Word for plugging RN. Love. LOL. Highpoint was "YEAH THAT JUST HAPPENED."

I think you should drag more players up to chat during the downtime. Talk about strats/comps/issues whatever with some of the players at the event. The canned interviews were okay, but I didn't really feel some of them.

Random Stuff:

Hafu hugged Azael. Oh my geese. Why did Ming not cover this important moment in the tournament? Slacking imo.

Warrior/Rogue vs Druid/Rogue - Zyz saps Druid out of drinking, opens, vanishes and saps the rogue coming to assist the Druid. He then solos the druid after the druid gets away and tries to drink a second time. The most clutch moment in the whole livestream. Zyzski ftw.

MVP - A lot of people are talking about who was the MVP of the tournament. I'm going to say Hydra even though his team didn't win. He was dominant in every game he played. Lots of people played well no doubt, but Hydra stood out tremendously. Love for Bregor (Azael) for ripping with 3 classes and representing cleave like no other warrior could. (hi2u sunder armor)

GGE's Rogue/Rogue/Druid - Cleaving your way to glory...almost. The matches against DGFG were intense and, despite the RRD hate, it's definitely not as much a counter to RMP as something like RPD. They also provided for some of the most crazy matches to watch -- Zyz running for his life and amazingly surviving many times. ^^

Lack of Sunder Armor - As Nikzi (Matt) said, "I like how the warlock[Azael] was the only one to sunder." When Pandemic played Nihilum, it definitely seemed they were doing fine simply by training Hydra, but they'd randomly swap off and, as soon as they did, he'd be back on the offensive raping Douja's mana pool. It's kind of nub, but continuing the train would have at least won them one or two of those games.

DGFG's Retarded Burst - I've played RMP since season one with a LOT of different good players. I still don't get the burst Duelists puts out sometimes. Crazy. ^^ Honestly, I'm sort of a hater on the way they play, since they sometimes seem to play with an extreme lack of control, but...damn. Rank 1 frost armor reapplication though yo!

Spoh is dead sexy and surprisingly articulate.

Inactive is a thug. Yep, in my white tee. Yep, in my white tee. His play was pretty sick in the matches they showed. (hi2u sap macro omg u cheats)

Vhell says 'definitely' a lot.

Hydra manaburning warlocks.

SK's terrible decision making. Seriously, they could have just cleaved their way to victory. Trying to cast <>Azael's rage exploiting. Everyone else did it, but everyone loves to hate Bregor. He was also the only one snake enough to join games with 20 seconds left to maximize his rage. Realistically, this made zero difference in any game, but snakery is snakery. ^^

I told you baddies that the top 4 would have both FD teams and Nihilum. I thought SK would be the fourth, but it was a different cleave team. Sue me.

It was awesome. I wish I was there!!

Oh, and: It would be awesome if every player's perspective was recorded in the last few rounds and was available for download. I'm sure lots of players would like to see heads-up-views of the finals from players of their choosing.

Lastly -- Zyz: Owning Since Level Four

Azael the Unstoppable

Nuff said. Game Over for life!