Some countries don't celebrate this critical day, so I'll briefly describe the rituals of halloween.
- Guys dress up as anything, girls dress up as slutty anything.
- Copious drug use. (as a child, you're limited to candy, but candy is still pretty fucking good)
- Boring girls trying for one night to prove they can be naughty.
The trick (or treat) of Halloween is doing the holiday right. And I'm not going to be some sort of asshole who judges people based on their costumes -- it's what underneath the costume that counts. That being said, if you dress up as something too ironic, too clever, or too nerdy, noone will see your inner beauty on Hallow's Eve, so be careful.
Actually, fuck that, I'm going to list the best costumes I saw.
Top 10 Costumes of 08 (That I Saw...)
- Pete Doherty - black trilby, vest, fingerless gloves, chucks, and bag of coke.
- Patrick Bateman - Balenciaga suit + transparent rain jacket + fake axe = EPIC
- Slutty Joe the Plumber - A girl with a "Joe" janitorial jacket and nothing else but a white teddy and white pumps.
- Amy Winehouse - A scronny dude with fake ink and general crazy scaryness.
- Fired Lehman Employee - Suit + "Will Ibank for Food"
- "Slutty" Slutty Pirate - Slutty pirate is a traditional costume. This slutty pirate wore nothing but a bikini and a triangular hat. What she lacked in pirate boots, she made up for with "inner beauty."
- Slutty To-Do List - Linergie + A blank list with checkboxes written on her stomach in Sharpie. (She filled it)
- Lloyd (from Entourage) - I'm not so sure about this one but there was this Asian kid in a sweater and I'm pretty sure this is what he was going for.
- Huey, Duey, and Luey - Three dudes, balling out Ducktales style. Eat a dick three amigos or three musketeers.
- The Bride (from Kill Bill) - The yellow jumpsuit, perfect match, with the yellow leather Tiger sneakers too! SICKMODE
Okay, that's all I can remember.
I was in L.A. this year for Halloween, which was awesome and one of the most epic nights of my life, but sadly prohibited me from partaking in one of the best Halloween traditions -- Watching the walk of shame. The post-Halloween party morning walk of shame is a truly beautiful thing. Girls in humiliating and half un-done costumes, heels in hand, stumble barefoot and wretch their way back to their homes for a few good solid hours of crying, checking for scars, and wondering why they're so sore "there." Guys stroll back home outgrinning the carved pumpkins that line their path or sulk back dejectedly cursing their Han Solo costumes. There are always amazing sights to see on this morning. Little windows into the beautiful and sad lives of others. Alas, not this year.
Any epic costumes you've seen this year? Stories? Tricks?
