Night Out After Poker (NOIR) Part II

Your charming fatboy perv neighbor is once again getting touchy-feely with your hostess. Worse still is how the whole group of fucks hanging out with that guy are goading him on. You paid for alcohol and atmosphere, not the girl, fuckos. And unfortunately for Erica, security has stepped away to the restroom, so no help coming there. Fuck it, a little chivalry wouldn't kill you. You walk over.

"Erica, can you come here a sec?"

"Yeah, what do you boys need?" as she excuses herself away from douchebag's table. Fatty gives you his best tough-guy stare. You keep your eyes on the girl. Not that keeping your eyes on her is much a challenge. Still, don't quite get the whole slutty Santa thing. Never exactly fantasized about a hot fem Santa coming down your chimney the night before Christmas-- then again, maybe it's about you coming down her chimney. Wow, the hookers have wore off on you.

"Can we get some champagne?" How about a cold shower too. Off limits, but...OFF LIMITS.

"Yeah, of course, what do you want?" Erica eyes the unfinished bottles of whiskey, vodka, and the dozen or so mixers. The retardedness of ordering a stupidly overpriced bottle of champagne when you've got more alcohol than you can possibly finish and not a single girl to impress sets in a bit. Well, besides Erica.

"Um. White Star?" There goes that.

"White Star?"

"Um, yeah"

"Okay." She looks at you with great pity.

Well, chivalry was a bust and you've ruined what little cred you might have had with ordering White Star. Didn't have to be Krug or Cristal, could have got the Clicquot, but no, hot girl reduced you to stuttering for some White Star. This is what happens when you talk. Just sit still and watch the girls. Black boy-shorts is back on stage. When I dip, you dip, we dip. Thank you.

Your champagne arrives eerily quickly, or it seems that way. Guess they weren't searching for that last bottle.

"Oh my gawd, White Star, I love White Star." Well, Long Island is back, and somewhat drunker. More drunk? You've been more sober yourself. A night of slowly sipping on screwdrivers all night long as an excuse not to talk to anyone, epitome of cool. Still, be nice.

"Yeah? Me too. I was sort of embarrassed to order it."

"Because it's fucking White Star, I know."

"Yeah." You laugh. You're flirting with this girl. She's not your type, but it's five in the morning, you're drunk and bored out of your mind. You pour her a flute of the White Star that you don't really love, but know she's the type to love, and go with it. The cliché Mid-Atlantic girl's irrational obsession with all things Moët or Grey Goose. Seriously, how do those North Face-Rock & Republic-clones feel so strongly about Goose? It's just fucking vodka.

Fast forward fifteen minutes and you find yourself still talking with Long Island, now known as Kathy. The club officially closes in twenty minutes, but the clearing out process is slow, and if need be, you generally have another twenty to thirty minutes to, as they say, seal the deal. Fucking they.

You lift up your shades, "Who are you here with by the way?"

"I came with two friends, but they, they left a few hours ago." Probably not alone.

She moves in. Her hand is on yours. Your heart, despite your bullshit ego, races. With your shades lifted, you can see that she is definitely cute. Smooth tanned face, sultry eyes, full lips. Her glitter lip gloss flashes with each pulse of the dance floor strobe. Ugh, why are they playing fucking trance? You and Long Island, Kathy, are alone in your section. Your friends either cleared out to give you privacy or found their own prey. Fuck it. You move in. She smells of strawberries.

"Sorry, but is there anything else you'll need? This is the last round." Erica. Fuck. You pull back quickly. What's with the guilt? Intense guilt. You can't hear her over the music. You stand up to get closer and lower your shades.

"Sorry, what's up?"

"This is last call, anything else?"

"Nah, we'll settle up now too."

"Sure, no problem, be right back."

She seemed somewhat wounded to see you with another girl. Or is that wishful thinking? Or her acting? It's a little hard to empathize with her -- how much is the real her and how much is just her character? Which are you even interested in? Still, she looked dead-tired. Most parties arrive around 11 and each hostess works two to three tables. Six hours of the act has got to get old. The amount of harassment isn't much less than what she'd get working one of the more upscale strip clubs, say Rhino, and it's hard to know how the pay compares. Actually, doing the math, even conservatively, most tables here drop probably about three grand, with the occasional table blowing it up for ten or more, call the average, four. With her looks and personality, figure minimum twenty five percent, that's three grand a night split between her, the bouncer, and that little Chinese guy dressed up as an elf who apparently is her assistant. Not too bad. Then again, some money goes to the bath tub girls, the girls in lingerie rubbing each other and making out on sofas, and the lingerie dancers -- especially the wonderfully talented black boy-shorts. Meh, she probably doesn't need saving from the life.

From behind you, "Hey, you want to get out of here soon?" Long Island is rather to the point.

"Yeah, in a sec, let me find my friends real quick."

"Yeah, yeah. No rush."

You realize that you and Long Island have managed to kill the bottle of White Star disturbingly quickly, and you're at that stage where you're fighting hard to not do something to drunkenly embarrass yourself. You sit down and smell the alcohol strongly on her breath. This is going to be terrible and marvelously embarrassing for both parties.

As you're about to get up to go looking, your crew shows up all of a sudden, and they've, for the most part, found company. An overly tan Japanese girl in a little black dress complete with long black boots and stockings has vouched for one. She's pretty blinged out too. Extravagant bracelets, earrings, and necklace. No shades though. Can't really make out the details of what she's wearing too well in the dark. Classical stuff though. Traditional Tiffany-esque bling, not Rogues Gallery or Me&Ro type stuff. Strange if she's really from Japan to be sporting such tame jewelery, but she pulls it off. The sour, disinterested expression helps. Regardless of what others might say, jewelery is hot. American girls never go that all out. Gaudy, terrible hoop earrings if you're lucky. You check Long Island; yup, big, dumb hoops.

The two with girls say their good nights before you get a good look at the other girl. Pale. Tall. They also left before contributing to the check. Shocking. Boyfriend-Girlfriend also take off. Without paying. Your remaining friend, the alpha of your pack, looks at you, looks at Long Island, and looks back at you.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Drunk?"

"Maybe." Erica and the little elf come back with the check. You hand her your plastic without checking it. Never underestimate nonchalance. It gets you laid. And maybe ripped off sometimes. Still probably worth it. Actually, not so sure about that getting laid part, but it seems like it could.

Your boy notices and smirks. "Let's go. I got us a game."

"I can't."

LOLNOTES

Because every other faggot is doing it, here are my fantasy class changes. They're reasonably minor, and are heavily inspired by Inactive's.

Druid

Cyclone is now properly classified as a magic effect.

Slightly reduced the coefficient applied to the following spells: Rejuvenation, Lifebloom, and Regrowth.

Natural Perfection is now a physical effect.

Subtlety no longer adds dispel resistance.

Hunter

Arcane shot's damage is now decreased by 50% when it successfully dispels a magical effect. Arcane shot will now always dispel before dealing damage. (This is probably a buff)

Silencing shot range reduced to 15 yards.

Improved Stings no longer reduces the chance your poisons will be dispelled, but reduces their mana cost by 15/30%.

Mage

The healing effect from polymorph has been removed.

Paladin

Repentance is Trainable. In its position is now Divine Fervor.

NEW TALENT: Divine Fervor - Increases damaging and healing by 20% for 12 seconds after your holy tree is interrupted.

Avenging Wrath now additionally increases healing by 35%.

Stoicism has been changed: Reduces the length of stun and fear effects on the paladin by .5/1 seconds and reduces the damage the paladin receives from damage over time effects by 10/20%.

Holy Wrath and Exorcism damage increased, mana cost reduced.

Holy Shock ranged increased to 30 yards, coefficient slightly increased.

Priest

CHANGED: Silent Resolve – Reduces the duration of all fear, polymorph, and silence effects on you by .5/1 seconds.

Mana burn range decreased to 20 yards, mana cost increased, amount of mana drained decreased.

Removed the casting time reduction to Mass Dispel from Focused Power. Focused power will now additionally reduces the mana cost of your Mass Dispel and Dispel Magic abilities by 15/30%.

Pain suppression is now considered physical (and thus cannot be dispelled).

Rogue

Removed the positional requirement from Mutilate.

Envenom can now consume Wound Poison in addition to Deadly Poison, damage increased.

Wound Poison will no longer be removed by the presence of more powerful healing debuffs.

Shadowstep's 20% damage bonus now lasts 3 seconds instead of applying simply to the next attack.

CHANGED: Vile Poisons - Increases the damage of your poisons and Envenom ability by 10/20%.

CHANGED: Deadened Nerves - Reduces the damage you receive from physical attacks by 2/4/6% and decreases the duration of movement impairing effects on you by 10/20/30%.

Shaman

Earthshield now has a 30 second cooldown, mana cost significantly decreased. When dispelled, Earthshield heals the target for 150 for each charge remaining on the Earthshield.

Stormstrike now has 5 instead of two charges.

Lightning overload changed to 4/7/10% chance to cast an additional half damage lightning bolt.

Warlocks

Mana Drain and Life Drain range reduced to 20 yards and are now canceled when the target is out of range.

LifeTap no longer instant, but requires a 1.5 second cast.

Dispel resistance removed from Contagion.

Warriors

Death Wish and Enrage once again stack.

Death Wish increases damage received by 10% instead of 5%.

Health regeneration from Second Wind changed from 5/10% to 3/6%.

Intimidating Shout cooldown reduced to 90 seconds.

Thoughts:

Basically, remove all dispel resistance mechanics from the game. Do not try to artificially add this back in with junk buffs -- accept it. It's healthy that the powerful abilities can be dispelled, and indirectly buffs the "weak" offensive dispels, Arcane Shot, Spellsteal, and Devour Magic.

Fix Cyclone. Allow priests to compete with Druids for being hard to CC. Allow Paladins to counter comp warlocks better. Fix Mana Burn. Force locks to open their tree more to pummel, kick, and counterspells. Open up Assasination tree to make it more of a "plate-killer" and less dependent on Imp Kidney zerg Shatter combos.

Reduce range on a few powerful abilities to force evasive classes into the fray. Solve Mage mana issues by removing heal on Poly; poly-bolt-poly-bolt is no longer possible with DR. Punish aggressive Warrior play more heavily, and tweak longevity of Warrior/X combos. Tweak 4DPS zerg potential and leave potent Pain Supression in game.

Greatest WoW Vid Ever?

This is pretty old, but is quite self explanatory. (I recommend you DL so you can read the chat)

Alexial and Rahvin (with help from M. Shinoda, Styles of Beyond, Ryu, Takbir, and Machine Shop)

Words are pointless.

Night Out After Poker (NOIR) Part 1

"I'm sorry sir, but Pinkberry has pulled out of their lease."

"So...no Pinkberry?"

"I'm sorry sir."

FUCK.

At the tables, you dropped eighteen hundred in two hours. Because scumbag calling station locals can't be bought out of a hand. Cause they think you're bullshit -- well, because you are bullshit, but when has that mattered? Getting self righteous and playing like an asshole didn't help.

And now no fucking Pinkberry? Waited months for that shit. Green tea with rasberries and chocolate chips. Sounds gross? Fuck off. Whatever.

Fast forward a few hours and your shades feel like they're crushing your fucking skull. A little too tight maybe, but they look epic. Chrome Hearts. Camo stems and sterling Fleur-de-Lis joints. Legen-wait for it- nah, fuck it, but they're hot. Rent-a-cop douchebag bouncer, who manages to wear his Armani suit like it's Men's Warehouse, told you that no sunglasses were allowed inside. You looked at him and he shut the fuck up. And you know what? You are a rock star compared to that guy, so wallow in it.

No, it's not a fucking brand name dropping thing you cocksuckers. It's relevant. It matters. People shit on cats for wearing shades inside clubs but the perks to people not being able to tell exactly what you're looking at are significant. Especially when the club is home to gorgeous bitches dancing in lingerie and girls in bathtubs wearing nothing but rose petals rubbing each other down.

Regardless how you look, how you feel is bored out of your mind. You're with 5 guys and one of their girlfriends and you're all doing bottle service at Tao. Hot, except you're probably the one paying. Seven seventy five for a bottle of Goose? Cool. Your game is clearly not working either. Sitting there looking cool and mysterious and the whole hard to get shit just isn't doing it. Your friends keep dragging back to your VIP area packs of fresh off the boat asian girls. The girls have paid you zero interest, which is okay as you were really hoping to do a little better than the rub-and-tug bitches. Eventually when the boys realize none of these girls will let them go for a dip, the girls are asked to leave and a fresh batch arrives. Honestly, they all look the same and you wonder if its just the same pack of girls all night. The fact that the club is dark and you're wearing sunglasses like a fucking tool doesn't help.

A girl in black boyshorts and matching lace bra is dancing on stage now, ass to you. Perfect ass. The type for which you'd write poems. Fuck it, that's some homo shit, but maybe a haiku.

Girl in black boy-shorts
Your ass is true perfection
Let me hit that, girl

You wonder if she'd talk to you. She's off limits though. Just artwork on the walls of the club really. Then again, you could marry this girl. Ass like that. You're in the zone watching this girl dance, thankful your sunglasses give you the privilege to stare.

"Hey."

"Hey."

You snap out of it. "Hey, you want to get me a drink?"

Brunette, slim, but with a heavy Long Island accent. You picture her purring "Oh yeah, right there" with that terrible accent and literally fucking giggle to yourself. Cawfee, vawley bawl, awwwwwful. Shit is terrible. "Go ahead."

"I said, you want to make me a drink?" she barks into your ear. Barks -- like a dog. With the barking.

This whole time you've still not turned attention away from your dancer for more than a few seconds. Long Island moves in front of you breaking your eye-line to the girl. She's trim if a bit pale. Low rise hip hugging Dolce jeans. The ones with that little mirror D+G back pocket and she's wearing an oddly matching shiny black halter. Daddy's girl. It's too dark to see her face and you promised yourself that you're not removing the shades without a locked in BJ, and why the hell are clubs so dark anyways.

You pussy out. "What do you want?"

"Whatever." God, this smalltalk is going great.

You make her a screwdriver partially because you're lazy and partially because it's the only fucking drink you can make it that doesn't taste like ass. Mental note to get smoother at making drinks. She takes three sips of the drink before glancing back to the dance floor, saying "Oh shit", and running off with the drink back to her friends. Apparently making her a drink and staring at her awkwardly for 20 seconds wasn't good enough game. In another life, Long Island.

"You guys need anything?" Erica, your hostess, is back, if only briefly. In spirit of the season, she's dolled up in a slutty Santa outfit. Waist length red jacket, white garter and stockings -- the whole nine yards. She's hotter than every single patron you've seen by far. Again, off limits. Besides, you like her. Tan skin, doe eyes, perfect body -- the list goes on.

"I think we need another bottle, whaddya think?" says asshat friend.

No, we fucking don't. Stop running up the tab to impress her you fucking assholes.

"Sure no problem, looks like you guys are still working on this one though."

"We'll finish it soon enough."

Faggot friends.

The next flock of asian girls coming into your section indicates it's time to get some air. After ten minutes of dancewalking to the other side of the club, you find the balcony overlooking the strip mostly deserted. On a warmer night, it would be packed with smokers or people making out, but when Vegas creeps below fifty, people keep things indoors. Not that there's much of a view anyways.

"You have a light?" Fat, mean looking Chinese girl. Her hair is tied up into two tiny pigtails -- she looks like a full size Cabbage Patch doll. Do people try to look this way? Like, on purpose?

"Sorry, no." Ten seconds of silence.

You turn around and head back inside nearly knocking over a bombshell of a blond on the way in. Smooth.

She glares at you. "You know it's not too sunny in the club. You should watch out." Pure venom. Socal accent.

You grin and continue past her. No witty comeback? What the fuck is wrong. Should have said something at least.

Coming from the eerie silence of the balcony back to the blare of the club is always shocking:

Soulja boy off in this hoe
Watch me lean and watch me rock
Super man that hoe
Then watch me crank dat Robocop
Super fresh now watch me jock

Can't help but smile to that shit though. Try as it might to be sophisticated, urbane, trendy, A-list, whatever -- it's still top 20 that brings the place to life. That's how it is everywhere. Pop culture trumps pretension every time.

Somehow, it's gotten late -- it's past four. The club stays open for another hour, but the crowd significantly thins after 4:30. The last hour is like the last hour anywhere else -- desperation and compromise.

You find your way back to your section. Your personal security is off his post, god knows where. Not that you can imagine why each table has its own private security. Huge guys too. Must be pretty expensive to hire these NFL sized guys to stand around and look menacing. Honestly, they probably are more there to protect the hostesses from overzealous customers than anything else.

You notice one such loser getting a little hands on with your hostess, Erica. Fatty too. Guy must be 6-1 or 6-2 but it's his beer gut that stretches out the cotton fibers of his baby blue polo. His jeans look ripe to explode. Old, maybe mid 30s. Exactly the type of douchebag loser you'd expect to get grope-y with a hostess, can't they spot these fucks at the door? Sir, you can't come in, we're sorry but there's a strong chance you're a douchebag. Erica's good though; she extricates herself with smiles and flirts and the situation never escalates. Pro.

Empathy doesn't get you laid either way -- it's as they say, "Nice guys don't finish." Don't know exactly who says that sort of thing, but people probably do. They probably do a little eyebrow lift and follow it with a cup-the-mouth-and-point when they say it too. Fucking they. Maybe you should find someone to talk to...

You spot Long Island grinding up on one of your "friends." There goes that. So it's either find someone new or give up. Giving up sounds good. You hit up the mini fridge and spin around Red Bull in hand to see two blonds chatting up the alpha male of your pack. Except...

To him, "Hey you looking to have some fun?" Ohhhhh, hookers.

"No, but my friend here is." Thanks bro.

"So, you looking to have some fun?"

"I'm, I'm good." Meep.

"Don't want to have some fun with me and my friend?" she whispers as she massages the arm of her partner in hooking. They are pretty cute, but... Hepatitis C. Hepatitis C. Hepatitis C.

"Nah, I'm good, but you, you want a drink? We're leaving soon and have a ton of stuff left."

"I want to drink you."

Well, that was subtle. "Wow, that's. That's... special." Seriously, if you're a prostitute, it's your job to be seductive. "I want to drink you?" What the fuck.

Your friend comes to your rescue, "What he means is that he feels it's really special -- it's special how you chose him out of all the other guys in here to pay you for sex. You picked him." Some fucking rescue. Now, there's going to be a huge scene.

No scene. The two shrug and wander off. "See, I got your back man."

"Yeah."

TO BE CONTINUED!!

MagicTrack

I had not previously used this mod primarily because it was a pain to get and I was lazy. I had tried to modify some older mods to do the same thing without great success. (again lazy)

There is some moderate drama with this mod now being in the public domain, but to somewhat reduce the number of keylogger misdirects people will hit instead of finding the mod they seek, you can find the version I use here.

There are extremely minor tweaks to the original that are very self explanatory.

Again, http://files.filefront.com/MagicTrackrar/;9329567;/fileinfo.html.

More on this later! (Plus some other thoughts!)

AFKRL

In Vegas next 5 days, so no posts, arena, or general <3.

That's One Secret I'll Never Tell

Hey upper east siders. Radikal here. And I have some of most delicious rumors ever. One of my many sources is saying that, yes, a full-time premades server dedicated to competitive arena is a go. Will this server redefine WoW arena or only redefine lame? Only time will tell but this gladiator remains highly skeptical. Time frame is unkown but, as the story breaks, Radikal's got his ear to the ground. Speaking of frames of time, 2.4 is upcoming and rumors abound. Rated warsongs are the big news and the arena elite are finishing up their dream teams. Haven't found a team yet? Don't worry, PvE is nice this time of year, and top end PvP isn't for everybody.

What you arena-ers out there might not find so nice this patch is pets will now receive the player's resilience -- is this the triumphant return of the warlock/druid snoozefest? Further improvements to limit resistances in games are also in the works -- I'm no astrologist but all signs point to a changing of the guard in the smaller brackets. Will the class balance changes dethrone druids in 2v2s? Is there anything in place to stall the slide from omnipotent to not so much for the arena mage? Only time and Blue will tell, but this blogger thinks that a patch this big spells fake patch note season. It might be getting colder outside, but keep your skepticism about you or find yourself getting burnt!

XOXO
Radikal

/who Serennia

Pretty much sums it up...

Sick dramas! And if this isn't proof Santa Claus is real, what the fuck is?

The Mage Forums -- Summary

Affix: So like check this out. (HUGE WALL OF TEXT OMG) Thats like the only way to win arena and if you dont do it that way, your bad diaf, kk? p.s. ur all bad
Scrub: OMGTHXU
Affix: (Timestamp 3 seconds later) OMGURWELCOME
Scrub: gosh, you are the best
Hoove: Am I bad? =(
Affix: noes i luv u , lets make out
Hoove: kk
Radikal: Rompe Rompe
Scrub: OMGZ SO MUCH EFAME
Errelnoh: Meh
Mattyo: Meh
Scrub: OMGZMYKEYBOARDIRUINEDIT
Hoove: I'm glad what's his face isn't in this shit.
LOLRLY(Saqe): bludlust r owl fukn nubs bg9 lolol
Scrub: SOMANYVIDEOMAGESOHSHNAPALAPALAPAP
Hoove: If by "video mage" you mean "terrible" I guess that's true
LOLRLY: r u strtun sht wit me cuz ill cut u. i cum at u lik a spidrmonkey
Errelnoh: BG9 mages are overhyped. /Yawn
Radikal: If someone gives me a UD mage namd Radyo, I'm coming.
Everyone: Shut up fagstrike
Radikal: ITS CALLED SCRUBSTRIKE. OR DODGESTRIKE. OR OMGTREANTSCSCSCSCSCS
Scrub: I am so lost right now. Does anyone have a new video to watch?
LOLRLY: lik chek my new vid its hawt fire got sik fites
Hoove: Do you lose 0-7 to a mage without Imp CS in it?
Everyone: Oooohhhhh~~~~~~~~~
LOLRLY: fuk ur gay as aids
Affix: GIVEMEATTENTIONNOW
Scrub: Yes, master.
Affix: THATSBETTERSLAVE
Radikal: FUCK WHAT THE FUCK MAN THERE ARE FUCKING TREANTS EVERYWHERE FUCK
Affix: theres no treants on tich =p
Suspicious Level 1 Alt: Hello, Mr. Hoove. I do believe you have offended my, I mean, Saqe's honor. Your arrogance is ridiculous and unfounded.
Scrub: THATWELLSPOKENENGLISHCHAPJUSTSHITONYOUHOOVE
Mattyo: This scene is played out. I'm outtie.
Errelnoh: Yup, rock fucking bottom.
Radikal: Hmnnn
Hoove: Well you killed another intelligent discussion.
Affix: oh pls, none of u are capable of 'intelligent discussion'
Scrub: MAJORBURN
Affix: mirror mirror on the wall, whos the most efamous of them all
Affix: ME BITCHES
Affix: NOW SUCK


ps gg ur bad ky nr

Kill Yourself

The two greatest words in the world after "Yes, anywhere." Not just the English language, the world. Not only are you telling someone that you'd rather enjoy their death, but you're also implying they're the sort of black lipstick wearing, wrist-cutting-just-because-I-want-to-feel, emo faggot who's going to do it. Two words that can hopefully bring scissors to the wrists of your enemies. Powerful, seductive, awesome. KILL YOURSELF. I like to all caps that bitch, but if you're going to use women's letters, at least capitalize the KY.

Using KY can sometimes come off as offensive, and it's definitely gotten me both into and out of some sticky situations, so please, make sure you understand who you're dealing with beforehand.


The beauty is there's no response to Kill Yourself. Here's an excerpt from earlier today in AV:


Caverince whispers: How about you stop climbing those mountains and help us out?
To Cavarince: ky bro
Caverince whispers: ??
Caverince whispers: Can you stop?
[Battleground] [Caverince] : God this is why Alliance never wins. This is my 10th game today just trying to do the Daily. Can we please all hit IB?
[Battleground] [Radikal] : ur bad, ky
The Alliance has lost control of Stormpike Graveyard!

Battlegrounds for the fucking win. Now that kid's downs was flaring up something fierce, but observe there was really no hole for counterattack. And even if there was a small hole, it's nothing that a little more KY couldn't fix. Okay, I'm done. I promise. Maybe.

I don't have much to say in this update. I've been pretty busy. I was playing Rock Band with a few of my friends the other day -- naked. We call it Cock Band. I complain frequently about the lack of woodwinds in the game because, truthfully, I own that flute and oboe shit. And put me on an Ocarina? Bitch, please.

I'm pretty sure there was a gay felatio joke in there somewhere, but it's not as important as how much I fucking rock out at Zelda. Shigeru Miyamoto stood and watched me jam on that DS Zelda game for like three hours at E3 and told me that the spirit of Link lives within me. Actually, maybe it was just a strangely hairy Japanese man staring at me while at the urinal in a 7-11 restroom, but he definitely said something about spirits and within me. He had a great smile -- I really miss him right now.

I feel this post was overly full of angst, and while this is something I generally loathe to do, I hope to compensate with:

SEE BELOW, KK?

Thx for fucking up my comments stupid Blogger, ky.

ky blogger

A Few Dueling Details/Tricks

These are things you can do as other classes to fuck me over and be like "OMGZ I BEAT RADDY IN A DUEL FRAPS INC." This is certainly not an inclusive list of anything, but just a few things off the top of my head. (what a gay expression)





Warrior

• Never trinket nova. Escape Artist if you have it. Assume the first poly cast is a fake.


• When sheeped, do not trinket immediately. Either wait 6 seconds for combat to drop and trinket charge or watch my cast and trinket spell reflect if you have the rage. I will ward up before I cast on you, so the charge option is IMO the better of the two. Its arguable that it is better to not delay my initial sheep just so that hamstring can potentially still be on when you charge me I suppose. (Shrug) I should resheep you 5 seconds into the first poly to stop the charge, but sometimes I forget or get lazy because I think you're a suck. ^^


• You should either intercept right as my Fireblast comes off cooldown (8 seconds) or when I come in for a nova or CoC. Obviously, if I'm going from 25 yds hopping around lancing you to 12 yards I have a reason, try to anticipate the global on the new snare. I have to circle kite you because of dueling range restrictions, so this is usually going to be when I have to cut the arc of the circle.


• Spell reflect bandage is amazing. I have been trying to wand out of it because I'm terribad and should just quit the game, but the correct mage counter is rank 1 Blizz. (Yes, it does take fucking forever to kick in, but so does cocksucker wand plus wand gives me an extra global CD where you can fuck my face with an intercept) Anyone else love how retardedly slow the arena wand is? And that it is fire? Coolio.


• Every time you force me to blink should be a mixup. You either chase me or run away for combat to drop. You'll do a lot better in this if I'm the one chasing you most the time.


• Don't hit spell reflect the instant you get nova'd unless that nova is on DR. Wait for the cast, otherwise you reflect a lance and still get shattered. (not so hot)

Druid (Resto)

• Entangling roots is the most powerful thing you can do. Roots and run away to drink. Blinking out of roots repetitively is prohibitively mana expensive especially for the majority of mage specs.


• Cyclone bandage. Particularly good to go for when swiftwend is soon to come off CD anyways as even if you get locked, you can SM yourself immediately afterwards.


• Make a focus macro for the mage and use the focus to feral charge. Do this especially when you switch to bear to kill the WE -- the mage will almost always hardcast frost, feral charge that nonsense and run back to kill the WE.


• Do not moonfire more than is needed to keep the dot refreshed. This should be common sense. Do not moonfire just because the mage is "pretty low."


• I think starfiring is retarded but it can be used to convince me to blow IB.

Warlock

• If you're destro, for the love of god do not try shadowfury->fear against a mage. Either I'll CS shadowfury, or I'll blink CS the fear. I'm not terribad.


• If you're FG, do not intercept me to start the duel. Wait for a cast. What am I going to do to you without casting? One fireblast? OMG NO. Also, FG intercept->fake fear cast is the most surefire to fake my CS. I really can't tell on that one at all. =(


• Don't banish WE. Certainly never fucking cast banish while my CS is up. You can fake banish while I'm in block to draw me out, but I think you're better DoTing up the WE and Drain Life spamming.


• Drain Mana is pointless against a mage in 1v1. Never cast it when you can instead Drain Life. The only way I can still pull off the whole sheep-you-kill-your-pet thing is if I trick you into PvP trinketing my first nova. Spellstone and wait on blowing PvP trinket on stupid crap until you force me to abandon the killing your pet route. (Takes all of like 5 seconds for me to realize I'm fucked and need to zerg you for any chance of winning, don't worry)


• Deathcoiling my pet instead of me is perfectly reasonable and often a better option if I'm at medium range. Or just wait on my Fireblast cooldown and DC as I Fireblast you. Warlocks are hard.


• If you're pet is about to die, don't panic and DC me -- just let it die and DC before you Fel Dom summon. Odds of me getting that Counterspell = REAL BAD.

Priests (Disc/Holy)

• Manaburns on the WE = doneski.


• Mind Control is actually extremely annoying. I can't really afford to CS it, so if you've got a fresh renew and high hp, going for an MC is definitely a viable option.


• Don't PWS yourself above 75% health just because the CD came back up -- know that fire mage burst is either coming after an impact and frost burst after a bite proc. Mages will use either to get some free "extra" damage before going for burst and spell locking for the finish. Using PWS after impact or bite greatly reduces the chance of that ever happening.


• I'm going to blink through your first or second mana burn cast. Use that to set up a fear.


• The only ways for you to lose is to get carelessly bursted down or to let me reset the fight repeatedly with bandage + eat/drink to run you oom. Keep pain up even if only rank one ALWAYS.

Test Server Sweetness

After dueling for about 30 hours as 33/28/0 on PTR, here's some thoughts:

• One set WE mage is a rough fight. I haven't fought anyone who didn't suck at dueling WE against other mages, so I'm not really sure, because I shit on them -- but I think they were all terribad. WE mage needs to play rushdown and then find range with early pet and needs to maintain distance from pet as if against a rogue to avoid blastwave + AE on him and pet. (Fuck cumbucket WE mages who LoS against fire mages btw)
  
• Mut and even SF/Hemo rogues seem farm. Shadowstep I haven't found any good enough to say anything about. AR/Prep is about 50/50. The trick to all of these is faking the PoM Pyro by splitting when you use AP and PoM. You can also do stuff like trinket kidney->PoM Pyro or try to catch the rogue on a global, etc. Obviously, play aggressively? ^^
• No resto druids of high talent on PTR. I'd guess I'd probably go 50/50 against top druids as 33/28. It's very straightforward from mage side. Stack scorches, either fireball or consecutive scorch to force a dip, and thus a swiftwend. Repeat until that swiftwend is not a full topup and start pressuring with scorch impact procs etc. until you see a burst opening. What sucks is that Natural Perfection is pretty much always fully stacked. Without WE for the mana efficiency , I don't think you can run the normal outlast strategy unless the druid aggressively spends mana trying to kill you. (Which is retarded and scrub but happens)
• Resto shamans are somewhat easier. I like to play a weird outlast strat where I blow burst early to force the NS, and kite around and resheep bandage until second set is up basically. Against a shaman who spams underwater breathing to keep ES up all the time, I don't believe you have a chance, but that is pretty god damn homosexual. As scrub as it sounds, poly AP fireball, PoM Pyro, scorch (grounding), scorch (hit) is probably the best guaranteed way to force NS off the poly. Against shamans with Battlemaster trinket, BT epics gems and offset pieces plus full S2/S3, unless they make an egregious error, there isn't going to be a great opportunity for a CS->AP PoM Pyro rushdown like we used to pre-TBC.
  
• Warriors you can kill in sheep.
  
• For all the above, I've at least dueled people who hit gladiator last season, and weren't retardedly awful. Lots of good rogues as per usual on PTR. I probably won't be dueling much more this PTR as interest has been low and while I love dueling as 33/28 and there is perhaps some potential in 2s as the spec, the reality is that WE is still dominating and its delusional to think you'll be playing something else if you want your teams to be the best they can be. (2.4 ptr maybe!)
  

I can talk more about specific fights if there's interest -- people assume its a scrubby dueling spec, but there's a few technical things about playing it well.

I No Longer Want In It

What's the point. All that studying, working, and theorycrafting sick arena strats doesn't fucking matter. Jessica Alba. Pregnant. Game over man, game fucking over. And no, she won't be the same to me in a year. I pretty much blame the crowning scene of Knocked Up. Yum, my mouth tastes like vomit.

Speaking of arena (!?), I think we should talk about the new PTR rogue changes. No, I don't really want to talk about it. But I know you do. And I know it's important to you, so it's important to me. So let's talk. I'll listen. I'm a good listener. You smell nice today. Do you think we could maybe, you know, before talking? Okay, yeah, forget it. Let's talk.

The changes to shadowstep basically give rogues an equivalent to the elite and complicated warrior role in 2345:

Harass mage so he can't poly or chaincast, save up rage as best as possible, intercept and OMGBURST with your shaman and mage some noob who totally doesn't understand the complexitity of 5v5 arena. Speaking of burst, that Natalie Portman "I'll burst in your mouth like I'm Gushers" thing still fucking owns. Sorry, we were talking arena. Serious business.

So now rogues can act more like mini warriors, and can shadowstep ambush to warp over and potentially add pain to the assist train. Wow.

The reasons the above strategy ares o effective despite the fact that mages are a hard target in many ways : (in case that nagging extra chromosome you've got makes it non-obvious)

• No pushback reduction on frost offensive abilities. Only now is there moderate pushback protection on Polymorph. Simply autoattacking the mage CCs him.
• Mages are still relatively squishy and the combination of the lowest resilience, cloth armor, and a healing debuff makes mages very expensive to heal in the long run. (sucks bad to heal mages a lot in the mana war)
• If you're near the mage, you're at least momentarily near his pet, and thus will have a good opportunity to kill it.
• Mage defensive abilities cost a ton of mana. Forcing the mage to use them is a huge advantage in the long game.

Is this better in 5s than simply sticking a mutilate rogue on the target you want to kill? The extra burst damage and more reliable wound are hard to justify sacrificing. Moreover, does this style of play really make any sense for rogue? Either way, there's a million rogues emoing out over on GameRiot if you want to argue about rogue nonsense. Here, we'll be mourning the loss of Jessica Alba. =(

The Sit Exploits

So it's out there:

For all of these, make a macro that says: /sit /sit /sit

The Spell Reflect Exploit - Hit spell reflect and quickly hit your sit macro. You are immune to direct damage spells for 5 seconds. Cool bro.

The Combustion Exploit - Pop combustion. Nuke that BR priest or whatever to get a few stacks. Now after every cast, quickly hit your sit macro. You will never lose charges of combustion.

Blessed Resilience/Natural Perfection - Hit your macro when that pet is on you to proc these talents guaranteed. This has obvious use for enrage and blood craze as well. Note certain warriors speccing into Blood Craze.

Some of these are obviously more "game-breaking" than others. Hopefully, if people get more aware of this crap, it's not just the elite pvpers exploiting this stuff to win.

Other things:

Many other talents/abilities can be bypassed by sitting. (Ignite, Winter's Chill, etc)

So, cheat to win?

Avatar's Blog

So, Avatar has a blog now. Here are the contents:

Pot: Yo kettle, you SO black.
Kettle: ...

I have no special distaste for Avatar, so I'll say nothing else -- except that he's a snake. A slithery one. Hissssssssssssss. Get onomatopoeia-d.

I think the discussion of what constitutes "cheating" is mildly interesting, but I don't really have a solid opinion on the topic. It's never really been my goal to win so much as to be as solid a player as I possibly can be. That being said, I'm very competitive and play hard in arenas because I don't want other teams to be better than mine. And no, this isn't the moral fucking high ground. I play to win and have fun, but shit like win trading to get a higher rank or making persistent use of questionable game mechanics to my advantage don't really accomplish the goal of getting better at the game. SOLID SOLID SOLID.

I was dueling earlier as 33/28 on PTR which was fun, but honestly the problem with fire perhaps more than the survivability concerns, is just that the damage really isn't even there. The highpoint of the session was dueling a full season two WE Mage who hit Ice Block as I PoM Pyroed his Water Elemental.

"OMG YOURE JUST LIKE VURTNE"

He couldn't see that I was targeting his pet and not him because his mods weren't working.

I'd like to practice some AP/fire vs WE duels on PTR before its down, so if you don't suck, come find me and spam shields on yourself till I'm oom. It'll be awesome. This last PTR has been atrocious for dueling despite good latency and pretty stable builds due to lack of interest. Partially, this is due to the new arena season, but my fear is that the whole awesomeness that was PTR is losing its allure. Why copy your character over and deal with the test server bullshit when already so many of the active PvPers are in one place. Thank you Tichondrius.

We're currently third in 3s this week though we really haven't been playing much. Competition is pretty mellow so far this season. I haven't really started playing 2s or 5s yet; I've got some ideas, but we'll see...

On that note, rumor has it that at least one more of the top Stormstrike teams is transferring to BG9. I don't want to be too emo, but 5s used to be an awesome bracket on BG5, and if anymore teams end up leaving, the bracket is looking to become a total wasteland. Then again, if 5s is your main interest, this is really no longer the battlegroup for it. (However, 5s universally seems to have lost appeal)

Poker Noir Classroom

*This contains math and reasonably technical poker talk, BE WARNED *

Vegas, Bellagio poker room, 4:45 AM.

You shouldn't play this late into the night -- you start playing like total shit. Everyone gets cocky and stupid after four. You're thinking you'd rather be getting a little cocky and stupid in your hotel suite than grinding out this -- Is that Sammy motherfucking Farha? Wow, fuck that guy. Last time you were here you sat down at the Omaha 150-300 just to see what the big leagues were like. They were like dropping 2500 bucks in 2 hours, but you didn't give a fuck as you did manage to take a big enough hand off Farha for him to give you his fuck-off-small-time smirk and take a break for dinner. Faggot.

Raise it up. You're AH-2H on a 2 hearts flop with no pair. Calls around. You hit the heart on fourth. Raise it up.

The competition is more of the same. Same losers, different table, different night. You're here stag so you're tampon-shaped 3 year old Shuffle is all you've got for camaraderie. One earpiece in, one out, as always. I'll stand in front of you, I'll take the force of the blow. Ugh.

The tables have been softer the past few months. Everyone talks about how the death of online has meant the death of the "casual" player. Casinos are now all sharks, no fish. They say these things. Fucking retards. There's nothing casual about guys who sit at card tables at five in the morning -- some of them are just bad. That's life.

Most of these guys never really learnt to play. They've watched movies and skimmed books. Poker is a math game. Deny it all you want. Play long enough without strong math and your previous good fortune will come back to fuck you. Well, it should and I hope it does.

Poker math starts out simple.

Everyone talks outs in poker. Outs are cards that win you the hand. If you hold two hearts and the board shows two hearts, and you think a flush is a winning hand, you have nine outs from your hearts flush. (Thirteen total - four known cards) This is simple shit. People say "nuts" instead of winning hand. Yeah, that sounds cool. Nuts. "I thought I flopped the nuts." Coolio.

You can figure out your outs with all sorts of hands, but it's meaningless till you can convert the outs back to pot odds. Pot odds describe the ratio of your next bet or call to the size of the pot. If you're on fourth street with nine outs, and you know there's forty-six unknown cards in the deck, you have a nine in forty-six chance of making that winning flush. Nine in forty-six is just under twenty percent, so it's like five to one odds needed to call. That's to say if it's raised thirty bucks to you, you need the pot to hold at least one fifty to make the flush draw call.

If you're landing in deep draws without calling odds, you need to play less fucking spec hands. Spec hands are crap like Ace-X suited or suited connectors. People get seriously wet for that shit. Especially those Rounders wanna-bes. They get off on visions of straight flushes. You get off on visions of -- that can wait.

You're thinking about going into a discussion of implied odds and discounted outs. Fuck it, it's late. That shit is overstated anyways. More excuses to think qualitatively, a.k.a suck at math, and avoid doing any number work.

Most players have two problems. They poorly understand how to calculate pot odds well for when there's more than one card remaining and they fail to incorporate all the social "reading" aspects of the game into evaluating the odds. Well, guess what, it ain't that fucking hard.

Consider this scenario:

You hold 8D 8H.

You raise under the gun. Very tight player early position raises. Loose aggressive calls. You call. Three players see the flop.

Flop: AD 8S 4D

Before going further, we have a made set with a pretty useless backdoor flush draw. If two diamonds fall that don't pair the board, a diamond flush is likely a winning hand, but an 8 is extremely unlikely to be good enough unless we can push out the other diamonds.

Now, before going all math geek faggot at the table, what do your opponents hold? Think back to preflop. Tight player early to reraise means he's holding a top hand, AA-KK-QQ-AK-JJ, maybe AQ or 10s, if he's feeling peckish. Obviously you have to adjust your opinion on what he's likely to play by what you've seen him play, his personality, his recent hands or lack thereof, etc. But honestly, tight, Asian geezers all play the same hands the same way. The other guy, the loose aggressive caller, no matter how reckless, unless retarded, is not calling a geezer without a medium tier hand, minimum, or a spec hand that profits from lots of players and he's hoping for the blinds to limp. Figure the same hands as the geezer, with 6s-9s, A-X suited as minor possibilities. But what about other hands? You have no reason to suspect other hands until you get some better information.

You don't know that much yet. That's why you continuation bet. Your hand is also baller. Books will tell you check raise hands like this -- retarded advice. You learn a ton on third.

You bet, geezer reraises, loose aggressive folds. Call or raise?

The loose aggressive folded. That means he either didn't spike his set (he held a mid pair and didn't hit), he realized his A-X wasn't good (he didn't two pair it), or he played some nonsense garbage that you don't care about. The ace of the A-X you do care about. Now, you put the geezer on a bunch of top tier hands before, let's reevaluate the respective relative chances he holds those cards: (from weakest to strongest)

10-10: Impossible. Could not reraise second to act with the ace on board. Very low probability especially from a tight player.
A-Q: Reasonable. He could very well think this is the strongest ace out there. A reraise will let him know if this is the case.
J-J: Unlikely. Some players like to long play hands like this because they retardedly hate to fold high pairs even in the face of aces. Very low probability.
A-K: Same as A-Q. Very likely hand.
Q-Q: Unlikely. Again, against the ace, a reraise makes no sense.
K-K: Pretty unlikely. Same as with the other high pairs.
A-A: Based on his play, a very reasonable hand for him to have.

Remember the flop: AD 8S 4D

Now, there's once ace on the board. So, there are three aces left in the deck. There are no visible kings or queens. Therefore, there are three ways to have A-A, twelve ways to have A-K, and twelve ways to have A-Q. (simply 3 times 4) Very naively, geezer has, at this moment in time, about 1/9 chance of aces, and 4/9 chances of the other hands. The fact that our loose aggressive came for the ride to the flop but got out of the way makes me inclined to skew those odds slightly more in favor of the A-Q and A-K hands.

If the geezer is rocking the A-A, only the backdoor flush or hitting a fourth 8 takes the hand. Even if we hit the 8, we need him to not hit the fourth A. This is minor, but thinking about it is good practice. Also, you have to decrease the number of unknown cards in the deck when you start making assumptions about other player's hands -- a lot of people don't do this, they're bad and should kill themselves.

Anyways, so if fourth is an 8, any card but an A on fifth wins you the hand, so forty-three cards on fifth would be a win. This shit ain't obvious, so actually think about it. If fourth is a diamond, then any diamond on fifth or that fourth 8 is a win. There are 10 diamonds to go around on fourth, and assuming you catch one, the nine remaining diamonds plus that fourth 8, make ten cards on fifth wins. If fourth is an A, you're fucked and no cards win the hand for you on fifth. If fourth is any other card, only that fourth 8 on fifth is a win. Holy fuck, that was confusing:

If fourth is an 8, 43 wins.

If fourth is an A, 1 win.

If fourth is a diamond, 10 wins. There are ten ways to get a diamond on fourth, so that's a total of 100 wins.

If fourth is anything else, 1 win. (Just the 8) So, 33 total wins. (Think)

There are 45 unknown cards before fourth, and 44 by the time fifth comes around, thus 1980 total outcomes for fourth and fifth street. Of all 1980 outcomes, 178 win the hand for us. That's about 1/11.

Gosh, wasn't that fun and simple? Consider the geezer holding A-K this time instead, but consider losses because you're ahead in the hand. (It simplifies things always to think of the losing hand)

Remember the flop: AD 8S 4D

If fourth is an 8, 0 losses. (Any card wins)

If fourth is an A, 7 losses. (If geezer catches a fourth A, a second K, or the board pairs the 4, 3+3+1=7) Therefore, 2x7, 14 total losses.

If fourth is a 4, 2 losses. (Anything but an A) Therefore, 6 total losses.

If fourth is a K, 4 losses. (Anything but an A or K on fifth) 3x4, or 12 total losses.

If fourth is anything else, 0 losses.

So, 32 losses out of 1980 outcomes, this is about 1/62. The exact same logic can be applied for A-Q and you get the exact same odds.

So, the geezer either holds a hand where our odds of winning are 1/11, 61/62, or 61/62. That's a huge disparity. This is in explicit detail, but practically speaking, rounding off to cleaner fractions is more realistic. Realistically, these odds become, 1/10, sure thing, sure thing. This is the most precise method of calculating your raw probability of winning a given hand assuming you don't get too maverick with rounding off your fractions.

Combining your odds of winning probabilities with how you read the geezer's hand probabilities, 1/9, 4/9 and 4/9 for A-A, A-K, and A-Q respectively, leaves you with 1/90, 4/9, and 4/9 for your odds of winning, or total odds of approximately 8/9 the favorite. Clearly, all the work to calculate the odds out was a waste of time as the odds are in this instance are almost entirely dependent on the hand predictions you previously made.

So, call or raise the geezer's reraise?

You did the math. You know you're currently the favorite until you have information that changes your estimates of what he's holding. With two raises preflop plus the blinds plus the three raises already in the pot, that's 10.5 bets in the pot. Even if he turned over his hand and showed you the aces, you nearly have the odds to call. The issue is: How does my raising here change the probability distribution of the hands the geezer might hold if he calls or reraises my raise?

There are math dorks out there shitting themselves reading this. It's a very strange idea -- logically, it's obvious. You adapt your expectations of the cards your opponent holds based on his actions as the hand plays out -- this is mathematically strange however as you're somewhat arbitrarily changing your probability distribution over time. This is also why, the math above is technically wrong. To be thorough, you need to model how your estimates of what your opponents holds evolve over time -- finding a good heuristic for this is complicated, and this phenomenon is part of the skill of the poker. This is a complicated topic...

Certainly, if you were to raise and the geezer rerasies you back, you have to adjust your estimate on the likelihood he holds the aces. There is no awesome way of modeling this adjustment. A simple heuristic many players use in limit holdem is they simply double the odds of the dangerous hand (in this case the aces) with every aggressive move the player makes. In this circumstance, that doesn't seem necessary, as even with A-K or A-Q, the geezer could justifiably rereaise you again as these are quite strong hands. The biggest shift in the expected probabilities would be an increase in A-K against A-Q as the possibility that the geezer holds the ace with top kicker has certainly improved. In this hand, a called raise does not significantly implicitly strengthen the caller's hand as the difference in kickers is irrelevant to what you hold.

Is raising now as opposed to waiting for the next card pot maximizing? You hold a strong hand and want to maximize its earnings. There's always a ton of discussion on this topic -- most of it is bullshit. Nobody to my knowledge has covered this very thoroughly and discussed the price of information, the correlation between volatility in hand predictions and hand profitability, etc. It's unclear whether a raise here would damage the further earning potential of the hand, nor is it clear that such a raise strengthens the hands the geezer might hold -- therefore the raise is the right play. You gain information and increase the pot size of a pot you're favored to win. Simple, eh?

That's enough for now. There's a ton of sidepoints and whole topics uncovered that are directly related to these ideas, but it can also be a lot to digest if it's not how you normally view the game.

(Back to normal poker noir next time, but I throw this out there just to curiously see how many poker players I've got reading ^^)

Arena Weapon Choice

After debating it for a while, staring at the vendor for a while, and having "come to a conclusion" a fuckton of times, I ended up going with the one hander. I'll break down the three options:

• Battle Staff - Best offensive DPS style option. Particularly flexible if you move to Fire in 2.3.2. Best in PvE.
• Penetration Staff - Felhunter killing potential?
• Spell Blade - Overall with new OH, 35 damage, 16 resilience vs 11 hit, 46 crit, 1 stam, 5 int. But, the one hander lets you kill totems, which you really can't do with the staff.

I do think all three options are pretty viable this season, and that eventually I'd like all 3. I'm still undecided on whether 5/5 S3 is preferable to 4/5 S3 with Holo-Gogs. The 25 badges wand is also slightly interesting for those who want to rock CSD. You can blue gem the wand and the goggles, 10 resil your bracers, and 12 damage (or 9) the rest. All of this stuff is debatable/minor but it's definitely frustrating to gem up shit only to realize it isn't set up exactly how you want it.

Pandemic vs Mob

So Mob lost with 2xSL lock against RMP?

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!

Tongues on the mage. Drain mana on the mage. Neither happened. Mage powercasted nonstop without interruption. Druid ate more mana burns than Pwyff. Kill yourselves.

Sorry, Mob. You're either pro or a noob. That's life.

What's Good

Get Hot or Not'd Bitches.


HOT

1. Blinding felhunters to get off shatter combos.
2. Sap mage. Wind up shatter combo. Sap priest.
3. Human rogues.
4. Blinking out of charge. Yup, I said it.
5. Five piece S3 with damage gems.
6. Focusing priests again.
7. ZA damage trinkets.
8. Players opting for the battle staff over the MH/OH due to poor scaling between S2 and S3 OH. (Too bad you lose totem killing potential)
9. Abusing /sit macros to proc crit talents.
10. Rank 1 CoC -> Poly.
11. 17/0/44 because of long CC chains and because silence is marginally improved by potential PS denies.
12. 11/11/39 and 30/0/31 druids
13. Clazzi's WE and AP/Frost lock dueling vids with Eye of Moam spam.
14. Daydreaming about fire specs after 2.3.2.
15. Evasioning to preempt Intervene->Disarm.
16. BG Dailies.
17. That girl from Hitman. (But not Hitman)
18. Avatar Drama.
19. Walljumping with the flag in WSG up and behind the base yelling that you won't drop it till everyone agrees that you're efmaous.
20. Influx of sweet new hordeskis on BDF.

NOT

1. Wanding totems when you can melee them with a 1h. Hello GCD.
2. Stam gems.
3. Detect magic change allowing priests to see exactly where fear wards are and whether they've been dispelled or reapplied.
4. Spellsteal. (Okay, it never was)
5. Lack of sweet alliance guilds on BDF selling BT gems.
6. Fire still probably sucking after 2.3.2.
7. Icy Veins.
8. Shadowpriest survivability.
9. The word spicy.
10. Comparing Runic and Golden Spellthread and realizing 13dmg = 66 healing.
11. Exploiting personal rating to get weapons/items even on very low rated teams. (suicide tanking rating on alts)
12. 5s.
13. Dahis re-disappearing.
14. Fake casting to bait Felhunter CS. Scorch go.
15. PTR 2.3.2 dueling competition.
16. 2v2 Queue Times and Blizzard's decision to do nothing about it.
17. Players rocking S1 gear to get that double +35 resilience.
18. Needing 60 badges for that dumb cloak.
19. eSport talk.
20. Lack of info on WotLK.

Spotted

I think somebody really needs to do a TMZ for WoW. Screenshots or short videos humiliating popular players. Witty, flippant commentary. Some good nipple shots. I'd do it but Stormstrike is slightly too bumblefuck to be involved in the action. Alright, that's a lie. The truth is that I'd be so good at it that this site would become a black hole of awesome (no, not brown) such that it would in fact endanger all other web traffic, plus like life on Earth.

I actually just got out of a meeting with some scientists, who told me "In conjunction with global warming, the electromagnetic surges associated with the traffic your site will draw for being too fucking awesome will disrupt the space time continuum potentially opening a black hole or at least a tear in the space time fabric where all sorts of Terminators or immortal samurai will pop out." Al Gore was there and clearly deeply concerned. He was wearing a Dr. Evil suit and had a little mini-gore with a "Support Stem Cell Research" T-Shirt on. Big Gore talked with words I didn't understand, but little Gore spoke my language, "I like burning girls. With fire. They like that." Yes they do, little man, yes they do.

I'm not talking RP gossip, talking the real deal. Who's bad? Who's gay? Who just CS'd a treant? My paparazzi spies would be everywhere, watching, waiting, frapsing. Slip up in a duel against a hurtbag and you might be reading:

Spotted: Affix loses to a hunter in blues. Looks like this little gnome isn't always at the top of his game. Little bit of drama on that RMP 3s we all know and love getting into little A's head? Talk is discontent in the ranks. Better watch what you put in tells A, pics get around town. Is this the beginning of the end for QC's Vindicator Gladiator dreams or a fluke occurrence? Only time will tell, but this arena-er thinks this could be one rocky season. XOXO RADIKAL

More Poker Noir

It's Vegas this time. Bellagio poker room. Your usual haunt. No celebrities, well, no real celebrities. Amusing how ESPN turned a few cardplayers with personality disorders into household names. Whatever, you're a not a pro and while the money is attractive, this life isn't you. This is a fucking game and not your life. Saying it again into the bathroom mirror doesn't fucking help either. Besides, you're not even that good.

Yet you're here every other weekend now. You're on the tables 22 out of the 30 hours you're here for the weekend. Fifteen-thirty. Always fifteen-thirty now. Four-eight is soft and good money, but it's picking off tourists. You graduated into eight-sixteen after about a year of raping and pillaging four-eight for 250 bets a weekend. Eight-sixteen is a snake pit. Lots of fobs and wanna-be rounders scum. No thanks. Fifteen-thirty is softer. You know to always avoid the second from bottom limit games. Those games are for those who like grinding away for hours to make less than you'd take at minimum stakes. It's cool. Those guys feel good that they aren't playing the lowest game.

It's not big money. It's a few grand most the time. You spend it on expensive suites, fru-fru tasting menus, drinks at Tao or Ghost Bar, and girls at Rhino. Things you can't take with you. Things hard for the IRS to trace -- you picture yourself getting dragged away like Charlie Sheen at the end of Wall Street -- for winning cards in Vegas? What a fucking joke. Besides Daryl Hannah wasn't even hot, or maybe it was just an 80s hair thing -- how did people ever fuck when they looked like that? Blue Horshoe likes 'em a little more tan, slim, and less permed.

The Bellagio is still the Bellagio. As lame it is, Ocean's did it justice. It is fucking marvelous. You're embarrassed by your inability to hold back a big dumb grin every time you come out from the shops into the actual casino. The air is cool, hyper-oxygenated; it keeps you feeling perpetually awake and slightly more confident than you ever would in the real world. Not that what surrounds the casinos is the real world. The phonies and scenester wanna-be socialite bitches are a whole 'nother story though...

Back to the cards. Pocket 10s under the gun. You slide three pieces of crushed paper across the felt. You hear yourself, "Raise it up." You've got two of your friends on the left -- they get out of the way, quickly.

Creepy asian geezer with lipstick calls. Looks like the guy was some sort of Thai transvestite hooker 100 years ago. The Thai love a little dicks with their chicks. No, that's not racist. You think, I like a little dicks with my chicks too, mine. Either way he plays like his piece was removed during his dress up days. Top twenty hands exclusively, but he's running hot. He's fashioned the few thousand he's run up into giant phallic stacks with no distinction in denominations. Not overcompensation, compensation.

A champion fat white college kid folds out. He's wearing two Burberry polos, one blue, one green, with both collars popped to the sky. He's got an obnoxious white Emory viser and crunchy citrus dyed blond hair. Sloppy fat. Hideous Tag on his wrist. Clearly all swag poker paid for and he's anxious to represent. He's hemorrhaged 1200 to the table in the three hours you've sat. He plays about as tight as the thai she-male.

New guy folds. Wow, lots of chips.

Turtle calls. Okay, he isn't Turtle but he could be. Pink, yes, pink yankees cap. Said it was his girl's. Otherwise, chubby white Italian in slightly thugged out clothing. Loud, funny, reckless. Live straddles every hand. That's a blind rereaise preflop that synthetically moves the button to the left one position. It makes it so you don't have to act first preflop, but is generally a retarded thing to do...unless it really pisses off the guy next to you -- which it was doing, hence the new guy. Turtle plays about any two cards the same color but is clearly stronger than he lets on. Keeps himself out of trouble. Takes down a lot of hands and, until you guys showed up, clearly dominated the scrubs on this table. Either way, him being in the hand means you actually have to play. Fuck. Since when does he ever call.

Geezer calls. This guy is all the negative loser card player stereotypes. Stained Chicago Bears sweatshirt. Track pants. Calls the waitresses "honey" and tips likes a well, rhymes with new. Messy. Dirty. This one's a real snake though. Tight like any other player over 35, but actually makes moves in hands. Check-raised you a few hands back on the nut straight when you flopped top two pair. Gutteral voice, terse, mean. Guy would look about as at home if you saw him sleeping on some cardboard on the streets downtown. He's been cashing out racks of chips all night so it's pretty impossible to know exactly how well he's been doing -- his cards have been frigid the past two hours, but who knows with this guy.

The small blind, an Armani-Exchange clad, emo, Mike-Tyson lisp speaking, gay fob folds. This one actually talks. Talks trash too. Loses money too. Calling station who loves to pay for "table killer" flushes and straights even when he severely lacks the pot odds. But what about the implied odds? Kill yourself.

Big blind, who is more soccer-dad than cardplayer calls it up.

"Five players." Ugh, fat dealer. One of those who constantly tell you to push your chips in because their own fatness prohibits their reaching across the table. Ten minutes till dealer switch, thank god. "Push in your chips"

"Sorry." Bitch.

9D-9H-AH.

Cool. You know you should check. You continuation bet anyways. A continuation bet is raising on the flop after raising preflop. It's like saying, "Yeah my hand is still good." It's often a bluff and players generally read it that way, but it is one of those things that is hard to mathematically value. It's powerful even though it is logically often a negative expectation play. If your hand sucks, has no drawing potential, and you think you aren't likely to take the pot with bluffing later, putting more money into the pot is retarded. Sometimes, however, it pays to just be in hands against weaker players. Good things can happen for you and bad players often pay up the most when they do. Still, your two black 10s suck.

The she-male folds. This matters a lot. "Guy" like him called preflop from pretty early position. "Guy" like him doesn't bother participating without at least a good spec hand. Ace-X suited maybe. Could maybe have been suited connectors but he probably wouldn't call a raise from early position with that sort of hand. K-Q suited maybe? Mid pair? You're a mid pair. Jacks or higher would have been a raise. Eights or lower probably a fold from that position from this guy. This guy should have fucking had an ace.

"Afraid I've got to." Turtle reraises of course. He is still going on and on with this story about this young girl in Columbia to the fat kid two seats over. New guy seems entertained but is quiet. The chump white kid is clearly sketched out hardcore, but it's all part of the game. Turtle could have the ace with a real kicker, or maybe a 9. No real information yet. He could just think you're BS, be bluffing the 9 and figure he can squeeze out the real aces and take you out later. You did bluff the ace. Well, sort of.

Dirty geezer calls without saying anything, as per usual. Obviously, ace with a real kicker. A-Q or A-K. Not a great situation to be in even if you're rocking the ace with a solid kicker. Four players left, one of which is the big blind -- someone could really have a 9. Or some fucking hearts.

Soccer dad checks his cards. One of those, "Was that a heart?", checks. Quickly calls.

You should fold. You should, "Call's good." Fuck. That was a retarded call. It's pretty late. You see the one cute waitress with a tray of Red Bull heading to the Stud tables. She's got a little Celtic pattern sort of tattoo behind her ear on her neck. From this distance it looks like a butterfly. Diet Red Bulls on the tray. Nice. Fuck the Taj. You try to make eye contact with her--

"Sir, push in your chips, please."

"Oh, sorry." Wow.

10H.

Money in the bank. Shorty what you drank. That's a money card. Soccer dad could have the flush, but you just housed him. Hidden house. Nasty. At this point, not betting would be giving out more information than betting.

"Raise it up." You think back on this one time in Junior High where you were all forced to learn to slow dance and you got stuck with this fat girl with atrocious Doritos breath. You could practically hear that bag opening vacuum seal breaking sound every time this girl spoke. Karma bitches.

Turtle grins. "That's a nice bet, but make it 60." Guess he had the 9 after all...

"Player raises. Sixty to call." Fatty.

Geezer is going to fold. He instead raises.

"Player raises. Ninety to call."

Soccer dad raises. What just happened here?

"Player raises. One twenty to call."

Now, everyone has some fucked up war stories on the tables. You play enough hands you see weird shit. But this hand makes zero sense. Your bet could have been still the ace. Turtle's raise could be the nine. The Geezer you put on A-Q or A-K, but he is clearly stronger to reraise to three bets. Oh, it's the waitress.

"Can I get a Diet Red Bull?" She's definitely cute. Mid twenties. Almost model tall. Olive skin, dark hair, great body. Ugh, it is a fucking butterfly. She looks like a surfer. You know what they say...

"Sure. Drinks for anyone else?" My friends are arguing about the voiceover in Blade Runner. Fucking dorks. What is she doing working this job anyways? She's too peppy, too cute, too young. Sad as it is to play cards all weekend every weekend, the service side of casino life is worse. Guess the tips aren't bad. You wonder how many douchebag guys hit on her every night. Then again, what's one more.

The only other hands that geezer could have are: A-A, 9-9, A-9, some 8-9 or 9-10 suited crap, or the hearts. Hard to picture him playing suited connectors for two bets. Maybe soccer dad has the hearts, and both the Geezer and Turtle have a piece of the 9s. You're good to call this unless you can place someone on A-A or 9-9 with a decent probability. The other problem with calling is that it's inconsistent with how you've represented your hand. You've also been slow played to fuck by these guys all hand.

"I guess I'll call." The table has come alive with everyone now focused intently on this hand.

Turtle and Geezer quickly call it up to the max of four bets. Fifth street incoming.

10D.

Well, the hand certainly grew simpler. "Well, I'll raise again."

"Player raises. Thirty to call."

Now what, Turtle. A piece of the nines doesn't mean shit now. He raises. Geezer folds. Soccer dad raises. You want to kiss that Dorito breathed girl on the mouth. Still, it makes no sense. Geezer was clearly the hearts which are now garbage. The only way this hand makes any sense is that one player has the 9s and one has the aces. You raise, everyone calls, showdown.

"Sorry, but can you push in your chips, sir?"

"It's okay -- they're mine."

You show the 10s.

"Runner runner bomb, are you kidding?" Turtle mucks his hand.

"Nice hand." Soccer dad mucks.

"Oh come on, who had which?"

Turtle says he'll tell you for 50 bucks. Fuck him. He had the nines. You collect your chips as slowly as possible and revel in the jealous stares. "I'll post the blind, but deal me out. I'll be right back."

"You going to the gelato place? Get me a--"

"Nah, just the gift shop. I'm feeling a bag of chips." Course you didn't actually buy the Doritos, but you went and looked at them. Looked real hard before going across to the gelato place instead. She probably liked ice cream too.

I Spy With My Little Eye

How a Baller Gems His Grill

Yeah, that title was terrible, holy gay. This is another WoW post, but its a new arena season -- beats losing your v-card...whatever that means.

Some of you may have access to BT gems, I hope your women have dicks. Or, to be PC, your men have tiny dicks. Basically, I wish penii upon your domain.

So basically, I'm thinking Trial Fire with 3x9dmg, Holo-Gogs with Nightseye, S3 everywhere else, all silk, all 9 dmg gems except 1 10resil in your bracers, S3 staff with the hit not pen, S2/S3 rings, crit neck, crit badges cloak, Idol or ZA trinket, and undecided on wand still.

Probably should put you around 9600ish hp, 350ish resil, 1070? damage with full hit and actually respectable crit. For those who want to pretend their warlock and rock stam gems and ice lance people 100-0 while they tank everything with their 12k hp and 450 resil, knock yourself out.

Oh and if you don't give a fuck what I think, you can fucking close your browser when you read my blog. Okay, I'm done, back to paying 60g each for stupid living rubies and emoing out that I have to wait till thursday to start doing any arena. I mean, 2.3.2 is the real season beginning anyways...

Inconceivable

Trainable Ice Block. Inconceivable. Inconceivable.

As I sit here in the very charming White Plains airport and listen to the many excuses as to why we cannot take off anytime soon, let's think 2.3.2.

I said before I felt trainable IB was needed, but that it, without other changes, would not reduce the prevalence of WE as the arena spec. The Icy Veins talent was really no shock -- most people were predicting a new 21 point PvE talent; I thought that Cold Snap would become the 21 and the 11 would be a nonsense PvE thing, but this isn't entirely the case. If Icy Veins were simply a brief casting speed buff without the increased chance to freeze, I think people would let it go as marginally useful, but not worth obsessing over, it's the increased freeze proc shatter synergy that leaves many of our mage panties firmly in a bunch.

Basically, there are a few specs that have significant potential with the 2.3.2 changes:

33/28/0 - This is pretty fucking obvious. I see big potential for this in 2s as mage/rogue or mage/lock and less obvious, but still solid potential in the traditional 3s/5s matrices. Imp CS, IWIN, blazing speed, etc. Ice Block keeps you alive against DoTs and hunters (well a little bit) and the improved mana gems should allow for slightly more use of mana shield and alleviate the cost of chain casting with AP up. The spec will be pretty satisfying in BGs against low resilience targets and the combination of IWIN and Ice Block should allow for some nice 1vN that was probably not previously possible without gay Water Elemental tanking.

0/41/20 - DB is fucking awesome and terrible at the same time. Why it shares a cooldown with CoC boggles the fucking mind. The inability to kite for shit, the lack of silence, atrocious mana efficiency, and not enough talent points to get what you need really are the big problems with this spec. Do you ignore fireball entirely and max out shit like playing with fire? Or ignore crit shit like Pyromaniac and Incinerate and max out all 10 fireball points? Compromise and just take empowered? I don't fucking know. Scorch sucks dick still. Icy Veins and Bloodlust do nothing for it, but then again, once the casting speed buffs are up, does the .5 second on fireball matter much? I'll almost certainly be playing this spec, but it is inevitably going to be love-hate. Bottom line is that DB reeks of unexplored potential, molten fury is severely underrated, and the playstyle will be ridiculously fun.

0/10/51 - You can play whatever gay variant you wish. Fuck off. Bigger mana gems means clearcasting is more of a non-factor and you can afford to fireblast more often. Hell you might even talent that shit, WHO KNOWS. Yeah, it's true that the Icy Veins + Ice Armor fusion makes you not want to use Molten quite as much, but honestly just kill yourself.

17/0/44 - I have no words for you. No words.

0/38/23, 41/20/0, 41/0/20 etc - Baller spec is less attractive than 0/41/20, but having only one IB might be too great a liability. The problem is that you don't get much love out of Icy Veins, and while in oldschool WoW, you could do elemental "frost side" (24/27), those specs don't make much sense anymore to me; I always hated 30/31 as you hit like a bitch. No offense to bitches. But you do. The slow specs have potential to gay the fuck out of people in the small arena brackets and if you're on some bumblefuck battlegroup full of hunters and shamans, go for it. Shit I can't wait for sick 2v2 vids from slow mages fighting only hunter/X and shaman/X teams. Blast some Fort Minor and zoom in on big pyro crits, fuck yeah.

That's all the theorycrafting I got in my head right now. I'm sorry if you expected my normal gayness and instead found this faggotry, but there will still occasionally be WoW ramblings. ^^

Post up thoughts on what you think you'll be doing next patch or if you think I'm a fucking moron.