Bless Beats Autotune? LOL

Chapter VII (Part 3)

Experimenting with Jess left us both burnt out. Not like that, God --the song. After every line, I stopped and checked if she was alright, terrified each time anew that something horrible was going to happen. It didn't help that she started dropping to the ground and screaming in fake agony to irk me. We made it through the song twice piece by piece until we both decided we had, perhaps not better, but other things to do.

Currently, I was staring at my monitor, more precisely at an unfinished paper for that International Relations class. Jess had finished hers days ago--her being the more studious of us certainly an outlier.

I didn't hear the door.

The paper focused on the ever diminishing personal freedoms of modern societies. I wasn't particularly obsessed, ideologically, with privacy or anonymity. I had grown up with neither, but I suppose it was different for those who had. In another generation, will it matter? Will 'privacy' be as outdated concept as 'lost'?

"Allie."

The interruption left my thoughts like dust scattered in the wind. I knew this voice. Jet!

I lept out of my seat with enough force to send it tumbling, flinging myself at Jet with enough energy to send us both likewise. Whatever questions or objections I had, they didn't matter now. At least not right now.

He grinned, his face inches from my own, and spoke loudly, with an odd pride, "You have no idea how I've missed you."

I shook my head delicately, "Yeah I do."

We kissed. It had been the longest we'd been apart. If love is felt most noticeably in its absence, then so is longing. I hadn't really missed him until he was back. The energy between us was frantic, hungry. My nervous passion left me breathing in short rasps. In the back of my mind, a voice reminded me I had questions. A strange little war in my mind between love and curiosity.

Love continued to prevail. He pulled back for a second. His soft face, beautiful in the evening's half light, left me paralyzed, my time frozen still, curiosity be damned. From Jess's room, the music swelled noticably, a gift of privacy. Somewhere inside me chuckled and was grateful. I felt his fingers intertwine with my own, and quite literally, next thing I knew, we were pressed together on my mattress, kissing, radiating, laughing.

Laughter was the part of love that came as a surprise to me. Movies got it wrong. I loved his low, exhaled snicker when our teeth clicked or how he'd growl in mock pain when I softly bit his ear. I remember the first time I sneezed while we were kissing and how we both laughed till we cried.

He rolled gently to the side, our arms still locked, his free hand's fingers gently tracing circles on my shoulder. His voice was loud, Jet was always loud, "Okay, you can be mad now."

I grinned, "So easily satisfied?"

He propped himself up to sit with legs crossed, smiling, "No, definitely not." He smirked softly, "But I know the little devil Allie on that shoulder is demanding answers."

"She might be." I really wanted him to lie back down. Well, part of me did. The other part knew my best bet for any information was getting it from Jet solo, before Alex could convince him to keep quiet. Alex was far more intent on keeping me "safe" and clueless. At the moment, Jet was seemingly more concerned with keeping my heart rate elevated, and so, and I know I'm horrible, I let curiosity finally triumph.

I exhaled, disappointed in myself, "So what happened? Where did you go?"

"Belize. And really it was a total waste of time."

"Belize? Like the country?" Yeah, I'm an idiot, so what?

"Yeah. Alex's idea. Apparently, a few people there knew Mania, but we didn't find any."

This wasn't exactly making any sense. Jet had told me that Mania had spent time in South America, but that fact always had seemed tangential, totally irrelevant to her current actions. "Why didn't you say anything about it?"

Jet paused, as if considering evading the question, "I thought you'd want to come."

"You think?! Why is that a bad thing? You don't want me there?" Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

"There's another one like her down there, " he murmured.

"Like her?"

"Yeah. Strong, fast, a guy though, and older. Maybe crazier."

"And you went, what, to fight this guy? Capture him, what?"

His expression changed, his eyes grew serious, "No. We thought he'd know something about whoever is behind Mania. But we couldn't find him, and honestly, the guy's a killer, and I'm not sure what good he'd be even if we had."

I waited a bit to respond, "That sounds more like Alex's interest than yours."

He smiled finally, "Yeah it is. Well it was. I'm coming around to his way of thinking."

I shoved him softly, "You sound like him." I sighed audibly.

He took my other hand in his. "Alex and I don't agree concerning your involvement."

I wasn't sure where he was going. "How so?"

"He thinks getting involved with our lives is dangerous and that I can't protect you from the dangers to come."

I swallowed hard, "And you?"

He beamed, "I'm not sure I can either, but I think you and danger are like a moth to a flame, love. Trouble finds you."

America - Gone Weeaboo?

Why is Utada - Come Back to Me getting played hard here? (ITS BAD DONT LISTEN TO IT)

BECAUSE DEZ WON'T BUY A MIC, ALL I CAN DO IS JUMP

BECAUSE DEZ WON'T BUY A MIC, ALL I CAN DO IS JUMP

Chapter VII (Part 2)

I hate running with Jess with a center-of-the-sun fiery passion of a million each hotter than the next hells. I really do. Our walk back to our place was me wincing with each step, flushed bright red, ears and head ringing, and naturally, she didn't show, nor feel, the slightest ounce of discomfort.

"You okay, Allie?" Jess beamed.

Still out of breath, though we had quit running minutes ago, I wheezed, "Yeah, I'm great." I'm so sure that we ran yesterday.

"No offense, but you don't look so great."

Thanks, Jess. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. "At least you said 'no offense.'"

"Yup. Can't get mad!"

I didn't dignify that with a response. She was far too chirpy and I was far too exhausted. I resumed my obsessive brainstorming concerning Mania's advice to find the Card Cheat. Jess said something about grabbing a late lunch. I gave her a non committal shrug and she took the hint that I needed some alone time.

I had intended on a lukewarm shower, but a poster in the elevator indicated repairs were underway on the hot water in our building. The ice cold shower awoke every cell in my body, which was a relief to the numbness, and although I successfully tensed and gritted my teeth to avoid flinching weakly in front of the torrent of cold, practicing my usual shower-time renditions of the song was made impossible.

I hopped out, teeth chattering, and toweled dry furiously, counting on the friction between rough towel and smooth skin for warmth. A bust. I avoided tripping on the lower lip of the doorframe narrowly and managed a safe crash onto the oversize elephant leather sofa in our common room.

No expense was spared in the decoration of this place. Both Jess and I had pretty wealthy, extremely overindulgent, families. I swallowed a lump of guilt for failing to call my aunt and uncle yet this week and made a quick pact with myself to not let the weekly call slide much longer. College, Jet, and homicidal freaks drained me of the energy I needed to lie convincingly to my family about how happy I was here. Not that I wasn't happy. Jet guaranteed that. But things weren't exactly perfect.

The sound of Jess' shower fizzled and a moment later Jess sashayed in wearing no more than a poorly tied-off towel. After struggling absently with her wet hair, raven against her pale skin, she plopped down beside me, seemingly exhausted, without saying a word. Ignoring me completely, she stared absently, dazed for a moment, concentrating on a thought, a feeling, far away.

I couldn't help but tease, "Too exhausted for clothes, lover?"

"In a moment, don't get too excited, " she quipped, her focus diverted.

I started to say more, but her expression shifted back to introspective, and I let it go. I had my own brooding to do.

There was no way I would try the song out on Jess. I had been more seriously contemplating just the opposite; I debated telling her everything. I knew she'd freak out and worry obsessively for a few days, but Jess was a sister to me, annoying in the way that any super talented, too-beautiful older sister would be, and I hated having secrets from her. She told me everything about her life. Too much usually. Scratch the usually.

"Hey, Jess."

"Mm?"

"Um." I really had no idea how to start here. "About that night. There's a little more I didn't tell you."

And I told her everything.

"So that's why you've been practicing that song?" Her gentle curiosity assured me immediately I had been right to tell her. Jess was amazing. Or we were amazing. It's strange to say, but if our roles were reversed, and she told me the same crazy, ridiculous story, I knew I would equally trust her with no reservation. I think that's the real beauty to trust -- the realization of its mutuality. Knowing someone believes in you is empty without knowing that in them you have the same faith.

"Yeah. It's pretty stupid. But maybe it isn't so crazy." Jess waited for me to continue. "I mean, well first of all, I haven't told a lot of that to Jet or Alex yet. I was just, well, they have some history with her, with Mania. I didn't want them to think she had some, I don't know, influence on me or something.

"But they knew about the blindness thing. They think it works like those pukers. You remember those?"

Jess nodded and murmured, smiling, "Yeah, I remember throwing up on your aunt's carpet."

I chuckled with her, "Yeah. I mean it makes sense."

"So, if I hear you puking in the bathroom, it's only because you were singing?"

"Hey!"

"Honestly, Allie, your voice isn't that bad."

"My voice is lovely thank you very much." Sadly, our stupid trendy sofa severely lacked pillows to hit her with.

I shuddered briefly at the thought of the boys in the tower across from us witnessing that sad fantasy. I need clothes.

"Besides, my singing so far has yet to exhibit any nausea or blindness. I guess I'm normal after all, crazy killer girl's opinions be damned."

Jess smirked.

I hopped up, grinning, and feeling a million times better than I'd felt in days, "Lunch and then class?"

She got up lazily, shoved me gently towards my room, "Yes to the first. No on the second. I think your singing demands an audience from now on."

Chapter VII (Part 1)

I've never been one for melodrama. Other girls would go on about how their crush set their skin ablaze, turned their blood to hot lava, set their heart to a hummingbird's pace, but for me, love was more noticeable in its absence, it was the relief from that sick, hollow, depraved hunger that was separation. The dependency of love didn't much suit me. I had grown up a loner. I was always self sufficient. My family had assured me I'd make friends and find my spot in society, and that my acceptance into one of the most elite of elite schools, reinforced by my "stellar" grades thus far, my amazing boyfriend, and a group of people I could truly call friends, were all proof that I had a place in this world. I remained unconvinced.

Jet and Alex were off somewhere being mysterious. I hadn't heard from either in nearly a week. They had prepared me for this, but it didn't do a whole lot of good. Despite promises to keep me more in the loop, it had been weeks since the concert hall massacre, and I'd learned nothing new about Mania nor Donovan, well, nothing new from Jet or Lex. My own efforts to piece together information hadn't been terribly successful either. The killings last October, the terrorist attack on the Cross building, and the more recent events -- I had come no closer to seeing how these were connected to Mania's wild quest for an old Clash recording.

"Allie!"

It's not that I hadn't done my share of withholding facts. I had downloaded The Card Cheat the night after watching Mania's home video. Every moment that wasn't occupied by Jet or the first two weeks of Spring classes was me reciting rendition after rendition of the song, continually disappointed to see not the slightest effect on myself. Why had Mania told me to find the song? I knew it was stupid to think something would happen. It made no sense. None. But she said that we were alike, and really, after what I'd seen lately, were things really supposed to make any sense?

"Allie, Allie, Allie!"

Jess chanted my name loud enough to warrant glances and shushes from neighboring classmates more interested in the lecture than whatever message she had for me. I scowled impatiently, audibly sighed, and surrendered, "What?"

"Do you think you could maybe do me a very small, microscopically small actually, favor?"

"That depends very much on the nature of said favor."

She paused, clearly deliberating on how to frame her request, and as usual, her shy blush gave away the fact that the request embarrassed her slightly, "Well, you seem like you're pretty good friends with Alex now." I grinned without meaning to, giving away my amusement. Her eyes exploded wider, 'What?!"

"It's just hilarious that you have a million guys always after you, and that you pick Alex of all people to have a thing for."

"That is so not true. And super tangential. But, um, I haven't seen Alex around since last week. Did something happen?"

I pushed my hair back and looked at my friend with more sincerity than the situation probably warranted, "Him and Jet have been gone all week. They didn't really tell me anything." I wasn't sure if I sounded angry. I wasn't sure if I was angry.

"Jet too? Oh, sorry." She resumed scribbling absently on her notebook. I guess she was taking notes, if you consider copying down totally random words from the blackboard into her notebook, notetaking. Actually, I suppose that is notetaking. Weird that she was so apologetic about just mentioning Jet. Did I sound that pissed? Why must I wear my emotions way so transparently?

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm not that upset about it. You just caught me daydreaming."

She grinned and quickly abandoned her faux-studiousness. "Oh yeah? Daydreaming about Jet, huh?" She poked me playfully, and then in her best Captain Renault impersonation, "I'm shocked, shocked."

"Not in the way you're probably thinking." She gave me a look of genuine disbelief. "Well, maybe a little in the way you're thinking. Mostly, I miss him and am slightly pissed at the pair for ditching me for the week." This was true enough, although certainly not everything on my mind.

Jess looked like she was going to say something more, but our professor gave us a bit of a glare, and we went back to the diligent student act. The course was Contemporary Theory in International Relations. Neither Jess nor I had a clue what to study, but International Policy seemed as good as anything else, and it was one of the "better", whatever that meant, programs at school.

Today's lecture focused on the infertility epidemic of a generation ago. My aunt told me that, when she was a kid, there were nearly seven billion people. Seven billion. Two decades of near total infertility in some regions had halved that number, and even now, only half the women born are able to someday have children. It's hard to imagine that there was ever space for three and a half billion more people.

Instead of wallowing in my own thoughts, I tuned in to the professor for a while. "There's significant pressure in the Western European nations to allow for termination of sterile births. Obviously, many of these births are terminated for other reasons, but in the near future, it's likely that sterility alone will be enough justification for abortion." He continued on, and while I felt the slight sting of guilt to know that the topic only didn't interest me because I knew I could someday have children if I wanted, I still felt I had more immediate problems to obsess over.

Jess obviously felt the same way, "Um, Allie, you want to run when we're out of here?"

We ran three times a week. That's not true. We ran together three times a week. Jess ran every day. She wanted to do her second marathon in the fall, and while I had absolutely zero interest in putting myself through that, she had guilted me into helping her train with less suicidal eight milers.

I really didn't feel like running, "Didn't we run yesterday?"

"No. I ran yesterday. You sat around singing by yourself in front of the mirror like a freak."

"Really?" I'm sure we ran yesterday. Positive.

"I don't know what you were doing in front of the mirror yesterday, but usually, I only catch you singing."

"Jess!" And yeah, she had said it loud enough for the boys nearby to hear.

She ignored my outrage. "Since when are you a Clash fan anyways?"

Okay. I had sort of told Jess what had happened. I just left out the crazy blindness inducing singing, the part where I puked all over myself, and the part where the crazy girl comforted me like a lost kid sister.

"I'm not really. Just that one song." Had she heard me singing it? I better be more careful. What if, and this is a big crazy I-should-be-locked-up what if, the song could do something, and I ended up doing something horrible to Jess?

"The Card Cheat? No offense Allie...but that has to be one of the worst songs on that album."

I wasn't really listening to her. I'm sure she threw in a few more jabs. My mind had ventured into a place I really really didn't want it to go. Maybe the song does work. Just not on the singer.