Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mage Glyphs: Extreme Fail

* Glyph of Fireball: Increases the initial damage dealt by Fireball by 5%, but removes the damage over time effect.

This is a nerd PvE glyph that actually might get some small use in Fire Arena builds, but who knows, Fire is generally terribad and that doesn't look to change.

* Glyph of Fireblast: Increases the critical strike chance of Fireblast by 50% when the target is stunned or incapacitated.

This is sweet and makes you think my previous statement about Fire PvP was wrong. Kind of lame random synergy with Impact -- the synergy with Brain Freeze is a non issue. Obviously, it synergizes with KS and CS.

* Glyph of Frost Nova: Your Frost Nova targets can take an additional 20% damage before the Frost Nova effect automatically breaks.

Trash. Unless 20% is the magic number where you can always never break novas on that first lance crit.

* Glyph of Frostbolt: Increases the damage dealt by Frostbolt by 5%, but removes the slowing effect.

The nerdiest thing I've ever seen. Skateboard P called me up and was like "shit dog that's gayer than me, cop my Ice Creams they sick nigga." No frostbite. (I WAS JUST TESTING U NERDS WITH THIS) Are you serious? FIRE GIVES UP A FUCKING 30 DAMAGE TICK AND I GIVE UP MY SNARES AND THE HOPE I EVER GET LAID? COOL BRO.

* Glyph of Ice Armor: Your Ice Armor and Frost Armor spells grant an additional 20% armor and resistance.

Glyph of Old Improved Frost Ward. Without the reflecting. Yeah. Blizz, you guys are doing a great job.

* Glyph of Ice Block: Your Frost Nova cooldown is now reset every time you use Ice Block.

When I drop this IB, my nova will be reset. Oh shit, I forgot to nova before I blocked. Well if I had nova'd, instead of it being up in 10 seconds, it will be up immediately. But oh, it's on DR if I nova right away. How come I can't suck my own dick?

* Glyph of Ice Lance: Increases the range of your Ice Lance by 5 yards.

I gay charges. I might have other uses who knows.

* Glyph of Icy Veins: Your Icy Veins ability also removes all movement slowing and cast time slowing effects.

Success. Now immunity would be baller. I mean it is a fucking 3min CD. I ask too much.

* Glyph of Improved Scorch: The Improved Scorch talent now generates 5 applications of the Improved Scorch effect each time Scorch is cast.

This alone will drive 2/18/51 to emerge as the Frost spec. It gays dispel so fucking hard. This is far and away the best glyph.

* Glyph of Invisibility: Increases the duration of the Invisibility effect by 5 sec.

Sweet 5 more seconds of self CC. Invisibility isn't good. More of it isn't good. It's like that saying, "You can have too much of a good thing" except this thing wasn't even good.

* Glyph of Mage Armor: Your Mage Armor spell grants an additional 20% mana regeneration while casting.

Wow this is nerd. This whole Mage Armor vs Molten Armor thing in PvE is so fucked right now. At this point, mages would rather not have Molten Armor in the game. Because if our theoretical DPS is implying that 5% crit and our gear is throatstuffed with spirit, we're tea to the bagged as we either lose 5% of our DPS or get horribly itemized.

* Glyph of Mana Gem: Increases the mana recieved from using a mana gem by 10%.

Haha, no really. What's this do?


* Glyph of Molten Armor: Your Molten Armor spell grants an additional 2% critical strike chance.

Molten Armor is bad. It needs to be flat removed. Sorry. You tried. God bless you, we know you tried.

* Glyph of Polymorph: Your Polymorph spell also removes all damage over time effects from the target.

Um, this is your poly fix? Freezing traps don't break on damage anymore, but we fucking remove the dots. Wow. This better be coupled with poly not healing. Because this is bad. And I know some fucking nerd will tell me how it isn't bad. But you're bad too. I went there. AND I FUCKING LIKED IT.

* Glyph of Remove Curse: Your Remove Curse spell also makes the target immune to all Curses for 6 sec.

Okay this is awesome and none of you know why. I'll tell you because I'm like Prometheus. I bring fire to men and chicks in Peru try to steal my kidney. There will be a mage and he will be bad. But this mage, this bad mage, he will get this glyph. He will face a mighty warlock, NickDiggory the Malefic. He will have Curse of Tongues cast upon him. He will remove it. The Black one will reapply his tonguing curse only to see Immune flash upon his screen. Nick will curse not the mage but only the screen as he spends two more globals in vain. "I WILL NEVER TRY TO REAPLLY TONGUES TO A MAGE AGAIN!!!" And no warlock from then on ever shall.

* Glyph of Water Elemental: Reduces the cooldown of your Summon Water Elemental spell by 30 sec.

The PvE nerd in me approves of this glyph as it's roughly 5% more WE uptime and because I know I'll be stuck playing WE due to Imp WE'd nerd mana regen.

* Glyph of Blink: Increases the distance you travel with the Blink spell by 5 yards.

If this only did jack shit, doo da doo da doo da doo!

* Glyph of Evocation: Your Evocation ability also causes you to regain 15% of your health over its duration.

Hmn, not bad 100% of your health over 8 seconds. Oh you said 15? Did I fuck your mom or something?

* Glyph of Arcane Explosion: Reduces mana cost of Arcane Explosion by 10%.

Mages: master of AoE.*

* Mages are actually not masters of AoE, and even in the rare instances where they are, AoE is completely useless in PvP and their prowess is a marginal improvement at best in the few situations it is relevant in endgame PvE.

* Glyph of Arcane Missiles: Increases the range of Arcane Missiles by 5 yards.

FUCK THESE MISSILES TRACKING ME THROUGH THE PILLAR. ITS A GOOD THING THAT MAGE IS OOM AND THESE DON'T OUTDAMAGE LIFEBLOOM. WHERES MY MUTILATE ROGUE ITS TIME TO OWN BG9 WITHOUT USING HALF MY GCDS!!

* Glyph of Arcane Power: Increases the duration of Arcane Power by 3 sec.

Um, 3 seconds. It's okay. Maybe it'll last longer the second time.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Atleast there are some good ones in there.

trio said...

Your reactions are pretty similar to mine. Blizzard is very clueless with how the class works in both PvE and PvP it seems.

Anonymous said...

Also Glyph of Polymorph is good if you want to do arenas with a warlock, you know how pissy they get about not being able to multi-dot.

Kolenzo said...

But why would you fucking multi dot if the sheeps just gonna heal it up anyway? Maybe one or two for some crappy dispel buffer on the fear part of your cc rotation or some shit.

The remove curse one is awesome, the imp scorch one is awesome. The poly one is kinda okay cause it makes us better at target switching I guess....

Felix said...

i had a good laugh.
you win

Oppo said...

Remove curse is great.

The extra dmg for the shatter combo one sounds like it would be nice 1v1, unless I missed something, both bolt and lance will hit for 20% more, as they were cast while target was nova'd. Seems extremely hot to me, I just hope that mage damage in pvp doesn't get itemized and nerfed due to it (it will).

Awesome update though, best way to lighten the blow.

Anonymous said...

kolenzo: Multi-dotting for pressure, polymorphing one of them when you sense a kill, or perhaps when they catch an NS heal, since they'd be close to full at that point.

Also I forgot to mention warriors. One of the major things I hated about playing with warriors is target switching was nearly impossible due to that bleed applied every single time they crit. Every. Single. Time.

Anonymous said...

what about lance range? now you can double shatter with >80 haste

romulox said...

this blog should go down in history for future dictionaries to reference as the first account of "nerd" used like this

Anonymous said...

the frostbolt one seems pretty nice actually, i never use frostbolt for the snare when playing mage/rogue, rmp, or 5s

and dont even act like you can utilise frostbites off frostbolt snare more than 10% of the time

Anonymous said...

The only real use of the Polymorph glyph is when you're raiding and killing trash.

But yeah, these glyphs are pretty appalling.

The frostbolt glyph could maybe work if they give us a good snare to combat the loss of r1 frostbolt downranking.

Barrelroll/dwarfgimli said...

Scorch glyph + Decurse glyph = baller, rest are pretty zzzz

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

so what are the limitations on the number of glyphs you can choose? or there are none?

Anonymous said...

ever play 3s with a warrior? I guess not. the sheep glyph is the best one there besides scorch.

Ryan said...

you make me laugh i like you.

Raddy said...

YES I HAVE PLAYED 3S WITH A WARRIOR. BUT SINCE I'M BETTER THAN YOU AT THIS GAME I TELL HIM NOT TO CRIT WHEN I NEED TO POLY AND HE OBEYS.

You are misreading the frost nova one -- it doesn't cause the targets to take extra damage, it just means the nova doesn't break as easy.

Removing your snare from frostbolt for 5% damage is retarded especially when your fbolt won't be putting up WC.

Extra range on Ice Lance has nothing to do with double shatters.

"all you is fucking cry" -- hi
[ ] ky [ ] gtfo

Anonymous said...

Anonymous again, raddy how about you check out how winter's chill actually works?

Anonymous said...

talking about the "Removing your snare from frostbolt for 5% damage is retarded especially when your fbolt won't be putting up WC." ofc

Anonymous said...

You guys talking about playing with warriors obviously forgot that hamstring no longer causes damage HENCE no longer procs deep wounds (and also most warriors will drop deep wounds anyway for pvp specs).

Anonymous said...

Sheeping enemy rogues fighting it out with a friendly warlocks in BGs? oh yes.

Raptor said...

I'm at work and extremely hung over. this post makes me wish I could go out drinking with you baddy.

Anonymous said...

The whole profession is on a very early development stage atm so its very open still how many greter/lesser/minor glyphs players can take in the end. Rumour however says that if you have the profession, you'll get one extra greter glyph.

Oppo said...

Best glyph they can possibly give mages (and by possibly I mean in the realm of consideration for blizz) would be a glyph that removes the reagent cost from Ritual O' Refreshment.

Everything else is FAAAAR TO OP for us to get.

Jason said...

You missed the glyph for changing your polymorph into Polymorph:Penguin.

If that isn't baller I don't know what is.

Tef said...

"* Glyph of Blink: Increases the distance you travel with the Blink spell by 5 yards."

If this were 16 yards I'd be cool with it.

Vontre said...

WC applies on frost damage, it's not tired to snares ....

That's why ice lance can do it.

The glyph is still bad but you fail at explaining why. =D

Anonymous said...

The blink glyph would be good if they made it 6 yards so you'd actually clear intercept/shadowstep range with blink.

Anonymous said...

remove curse glyph will make pallys love you

Anonymous said...

terribads... Glyph of Polymorph is for stupid priests that SW:D before you finish cast.. mmhmm screw priests!

Anonymous said...

"terribads... Glyph of Polymorph is for stupid priests that SW:D before you finish cast.. mmhmm screw priests!"

That could make it useful... if SWD were a dot that is.

Anonymous said...

its cool guys he just sat down and said i'm gonna write a retardedly angry post about first generation ideas for mage glyphs ... with half the logic flawed due to attempting to be funny guy "LOL hes so angry at the game he writes a daily blog about"

Tef said...

Hi, my name is anon and I talk shit. Everyone cares what I say.

badams said...

Poly Glyph is awesome

Du said...

wow you whine about everything. some of these are good yet you whine senselessly about them