Sup Internet

It's been a while since we just, you know, talked. There are things happening in the world. Important things. Like TARP. And the Dollhouse premier next week. The remaining episodes of Battlestar. Bush (not the president) making a huge late winter comeback. There's probably other stuff in the world too but it doesn't directly pertain to me and is thus bad and stupid, so let's move on.

First, TARP. So like, wall street bonus + salary (total compensation) cannot exceed that of the president's compensation. That is to say that they cannot 400k per year. However, this is ignoring the perks and benefits of being president, as many of these are synthetically part of his "real" compensation. I thus present courtesy of DB:

Cash Compensation:
Salary: $400,000

Cash Subtotal: $400,000

Room and Board:
55,000 square foot mansion, in historic Washington, D.C.: @ $100/sqft: $5,500,000/yr
Personal Chef / Kitchen Staff: $300,000 / year
Other Servants / Attendants: $500,000 / year

Subtotal: $6,300,000

Discretionary Use Of Private Aircraft:
One of 2 Boeing 747-200Bs "Air Force One":
Annual Costs: 120 hours @ $65,000/hr: $7,800,000
Annual Costs: 700 hours @ $65,000/hr: $45,500,000

Helicopter Fleet:
Annual Costs: 50 hours @ $5200/hr: $260,000

Aircraft Subtotal: $8,060,000
Aircraft Subtotal: $45,760,000

Other Personnel:
Personal Driver On Retainer (Defensive Tactical Driving Trained) @ $300/day $109,500
Personal Body Guards 35 @ $500/day $6,387,500
Use Of Personal Car 60 days @ $2000/day $120,000

Personnel Subtotal: $6,617,000

Annual Benefits Total: $59,077,000

Four Years of Same: $236,308,000

Pension And Related Benefits:
Present value of Pension Benefits ($200,000 per year): $2,251,556

Total Benefits: $238,559,556

Average Annual Benefits: $59,639,889

I think this is quite a reasonable cap and I understand entirely if the American public is upset with compensation packages over 60M. I'm a man of the people after all. (This doesn't apply to you if you're fat, ugly, or not slutty)

Apparently, for some reason, people are mad that bankers and traders are getting, sometimes, large bonuses even if their companies redefine the idea of "devouring penis." Just because your company devours to the point of losing trillions of dollars, and just because tax payers have to bear the loss, does not mean you shouldn't get paid seven digits. Should that be "bear" or "bare"? I really don't know in this context. Although, in some sense, I feel both apply just fine.

Moving on from the glory that is rescuing bad companies so that bad bankers can still get laid, Dollhouse starts next week. This isn't terribly interesting except that I've wanted inside Faith since I was a young lad and never have been so jealous in my life as when she and Xander got it on. Pre-pirate Xander. The show looks increasingly bad/gay but I remain, something like hopeful.

There's also the new Battlestar. I don't know what to say. It's been gay until this most recent episode. I mean really really gay. Every episode has been a mix of guys crying and old people having sex -- two things I really can't stomach. Plus Starbuck has been basically all Emobuck and no Ragebuck and Helo has become a gay male blowup doll fit with like fifteen holes to accommodate the tentacles rape of cocks that his gayness now enjoys. If he doesn't start kicking ass again, I'm going to have to find a new imaginary 2guy-1girl threeway partner. Oh like you don't have one, fags.

And lastly bush. Has anyone else noticed this? Well, if you're reading my blog, probably not, but is this like a delayed Vanessa Hudgens effect? Racing stripes are cool, but aznbush is terrifying. Having to rinse and repeat twice has got to waste lots of extra time too -- I'm not sold. Bush seems like the new Uggs to me. =\