Chapter VII (Part 2)

I hate running with Jess with a center-of-the-sun fiery passion of a million each hotter than the next hells. I really do. Our walk back to our place was me wincing with each step, flushed bright red, ears and head ringing, and naturally, she didn't show, nor feel, the slightest ounce of discomfort.

"You okay, Allie?" Jess beamed.

Still out of breath, though we had quit running minutes ago, I wheezed, "Yeah, I'm great." I'm so sure that we ran yesterday.

"No offense, but you don't look so great."

Thanks, Jess. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. "At least you said 'no offense.'"

"Yup. Can't get mad!"

I didn't dignify that with a response. She was far too chirpy and I was far too exhausted. I resumed my obsessive brainstorming concerning Mania's advice to find the Card Cheat. Jess said something about grabbing a late lunch. I gave her a non committal shrug and she took the hint that I needed some alone time.

I had intended on a lukewarm shower, but a poster in the elevator indicated repairs were underway on the hot water in our building. The ice cold shower awoke every cell in my body, which was a relief to the numbness, and although I successfully tensed and gritted my teeth to avoid flinching weakly in front of the torrent of cold, practicing my usual shower-time renditions of the song was made impossible.

I hopped out, teeth chattering, and toweled dry furiously, counting on the friction between rough towel and smooth skin for warmth. A bust. I avoided tripping on the lower lip of the doorframe narrowly and managed a safe crash onto the oversize elephant leather sofa in our common room.

No expense was spared in the decoration of this place. Both Jess and I had pretty wealthy, extremely overindulgent, families. I swallowed a lump of guilt for failing to call my aunt and uncle yet this week and made a quick pact with myself to not let the weekly call slide much longer. College, Jet, and homicidal freaks drained me of the energy I needed to lie convincingly to my family about how happy I was here. Not that I wasn't happy. Jet guaranteed that. But things weren't exactly perfect.

The sound of Jess' shower fizzled and a moment later Jess sashayed in wearing no more than a poorly tied-off towel. After struggling absently with her wet hair, raven against her pale skin, she plopped down beside me, seemingly exhausted, without saying a word. Ignoring me completely, she stared absently, dazed for a moment, concentrating on a thought, a feeling, far away.

I couldn't help but tease, "Too exhausted for clothes, lover?"

"In a moment, don't get too excited, " she quipped, her focus diverted.

I started to say more, but her expression shifted back to introspective, and I let it go. I had my own brooding to do.

There was no way I would try the song out on Jess. I had been more seriously contemplating just the opposite; I debated telling her everything. I knew she'd freak out and worry obsessively for a few days, but Jess was a sister to me, annoying in the way that any super talented, too-beautiful older sister would be, and I hated having secrets from her. She told me everything about her life. Too much usually. Scratch the usually.

"Hey, Jess."

"Mm?"

"Um." I really had no idea how to start here. "About that night. There's a little more I didn't tell you."

And I told her everything.

"So that's why you've been practicing that song?" Her gentle curiosity assured me immediately I had been right to tell her. Jess was amazing. Or we were amazing. It's strange to say, but if our roles were reversed, and she told me the same crazy, ridiculous story, I knew I would equally trust her with no reservation. I think that's the real beauty to trust -- the realization of its mutuality. Knowing someone believes in you is empty without knowing that in them you have the same faith.

"Yeah. It's pretty stupid. But maybe it isn't so crazy." Jess waited for me to continue. "I mean, well first of all, I haven't told a lot of that to Jet or Alex yet. I was just, well, they have some history with her, with Mania. I didn't want them to think she had some, I don't know, influence on me or something.

"But they knew about the blindness thing. They think it works like those pukers. You remember those?"

Jess nodded and murmured, smiling, "Yeah, I remember throwing up on your aunt's carpet."

I chuckled with her, "Yeah. I mean it makes sense."

"So, if I hear you puking in the bathroom, it's only because you were singing?"

"Hey!"

"Honestly, Allie, your voice isn't that bad."

"My voice is lovely thank you very much." Sadly, our stupid trendy sofa severely lacked pillows to hit her with.

I shuddered briefly at the thought of the boys in the tower across from us witnessing that sad fantasy. I need clothes.

"Besides, my singing so far has yet to exhibit any nausea or blindness. I guess I'm normal after all, crazy killer girl's opinions be damned."

Jess smirked.

I hopped up, grinning, and feeling a million times better than I'd felt in days, "Lunch and then class?"

She got up lazily, shoved me gently towards my room, "Yes to the first. No on the second. I think your singing demands an audience from now on."