Precog Raddy

Well, I don't have any WoW news. Aside from I'll probably be watching WWI this weekend; I do have some picks for who I think will do well at the tourney, but I'll likely talk about that later.

"How do you know who's going to win?" Truth is that I'm, in fact, not psychic. I'm prescient. Like those hairless freaks in the sauna in Minority Report. I have somewhat more hair and am marginally less pale but just as future-see-y. I acquired said powers of prescience by fucking that Powder look-a-like who escaped with Cruise. By 'fucked' I mean we had precog sex. I told her that I already saw us in the future doing it and she pretty much had no choice. Sure we agreed to wait, but let's not get technical on when the sex occurred. It already happened. In the future.

My prescience however failed to prepare me for Ana's shocking exodus from Wimbledon today. Honestly if there's a god he is Nathan Lane (really fucking) gay. There actually isn't a God to blame but fuck it when you've got nobody else to blame you have to blame the supernatural. I can't blame Ana. Or that crafty little railroad worker escapee. Actually, I think today was the first day Peter Jackson showed up. Fat bastard is bad luck I think.

With no Americans left in the men's draw and no women I'd put it in without double bagging, Wimbledon has lost much of its appeal. Those bags go on their heads not on my p btw. Paper and plastic. I'd throw them shits out without recycling after we're done too. Fuck the environment.

There's still Safin's sweet raging I suppose. And I can't help but cheer for Max Mirnyi -- that Frankenstein looking mothfucker.

I saw Wanted at last night's midnight opening and it was fucking awesome. The movie was solid but it's one of those movies where the audience can add a ton. I went with one of my friends (a mini-me sized halfsie girl obsessed with HK flicks and terrible horror movies who's awesome but less cool than me sadly) and we ended up sitting with this huge group of twenty something black guys who were super loud and funny as fuck. It's definitely the type of action movie that gets extra love from having a blacktrack (like laughtrack but black get it? omgomg). That's not racist you fucking pussy. I had Illmatic in 95; I can't be racist. But the "OH SHIT OH SHIT" and "DAMN" hollers take shit to the next level.

I shit you not that one of the guys turned to my friend teary-eyed and said "This the best damn movie I ever seen."

My precog spidey sense is telling me that there will probably be backlash concerning how skinny Jolie is for the role. She looks like she hasn't eaten in weeks, i.e. perfect. The dark tan with Tribal and Gothic tattoos aren't hurting. Shit is hot. I'm not a Jolie fan tbh. I have no interest in girls above the Age Rule (Divide your age by 2 and add 7). Young fresh and green, nah mean? But anyways, there will be haters who bitch and moan about how it's unrealistic for girls to starve themselves to look that good. Personally, I think that's bullshit. It's a scientific fact that girls can survive off nothing but toothpaste and cocaine.

Unrelated-ly...So there's a sex tape with mini-me and his non-mini girlfriend. There's a lot of drama about it, but let's be real. Sex with mini-me isn't sex. It's gerbiling.

On those lines, why is there no I'm fucking Matt Damon spoof with Hafu and Glickz? You people are throwing away your efame. Yeah that shit is old and totally played out, but let's face it, it's the WoW community, it's allowed to be two years behind what's cool. Oh how Kayne of me. SOON ILL BE BLOGGING IN ALL CAPS WITH AN OVERABUNDANCE OF PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T STOP IT SHOWS MY PASSION AND HOW EMOTIONAL I AM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS?????????????

Seriously though. Him hating on whites for posering black culture and being years behind is pretty epic when you've got rappers repping Bathing Ape hoodies and kicks that have been played out in Japan for YEARS. Or rocking goofy French cuffs -- YEARS BEHIND. (Sorry jay it's true) Shit white people need some mocking but it's for their retarded love of granola, clean energy, correcting grammar, and the Office.

I'm off like your girl's top at a frat party. Peace.