NSFW

The plan, and it was quite a plan if I do say so myself, which I clearly do, hence the saying so of it by myself, was to write an article on which PvPer you would most like to fuck. As in sexual relations. Maybe in the butt. But then I felt that it perhaps a little desperate. Maybe it would seem that I perhaps was running dry on content and, due to my need for constant attention, that I would be willing to flood this reputable blog with pointless drivel as I masturbated furiously to my skyrocketing Alexa score. Which brings me to exhibit A:

As you can see, I've long surpassed fat chicks and my triumph over dicks is beginning to look inevitable. I'm not exactly experienced at interpreting these traffic rankings, but a little voice in my head is telling me, dude, you've won the internet. That same little voice had me pretending to be my ex-girlfriend on CollarMe and posting her address with a nice little map with a big black 'X' footnoted with "Rape Me Here" beneath it. Oh, like you haven't.

Anyways, I was even going to get one of those 'SKILL' things like on WCM. Like this shit:


Except mine would have like a naked woman or some dicks instead of that dumb fist. Maybe a fistful of dicks. Or instead, maybe a fistful of...dicks?

But I've decided to scrap that idea. Don't worry -- if you liked it, I'm sure it will turn up on Gameriot in a few weeks anyways.

Truth is, though I was hoping you'd pick me, with fake naked Crysalid and sexy-t-shirt-and-frisbee Dahis floating around, I realized I had no chance. Well, short of doing a "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" ripoff titled "I'm Fucking Ming" and honestly I'm not sure that would be enough, because the whole "I'm Fucking ___" is already on the way out (Thanks Affleck) and, well, there's just no way he'd do it with me.

And so, that leaves us here. Right here actually. You should reread back to that second here. It's the good one. The point I'd like to get to, but somehow have drunkenly rambled around, is that I'll be more frequently updating this site with WoW and non-WoW content in the coming weeks because I rather like words and I think you do too, and if you give us a chance, I think we can have something special between us with those words.